Thursday, October 05, 2006

Laguna Beach Gossip, Recap, and Retards


It's a Happy Valentine's Day for the douche bags at Laguna Beach. As always, I continue to learn from this show and really get philosophical every Wednesday night when I watch it. So what have I learned from this weeks show? See below:



  • When the producers want the girls to talk they send them to get coffee. When they want the guys to talk they send them to the basketball court...even if they can't play (i.e. Cameron's friend Nick W.)

  • I think Tessa lives at Rocky's house. Even after Rocky left for her V-day date, Tessa just stayed there. The same thing happened on Rocky's first date, Tessa watched a movie with Rocky's parents. Therefore, my conclusion is that Tessa is homeless.

  • Rocky remains a bit white trash for me. I especially liked her Lee press-on nails.

  • Rocky's boyfriend is clearly the new Jason. He literally grunts and hardly says any words even when asked specific questions. Awesome!

  • Kyndra's boyfriend, Tyler, has his period for sure. He was a pissy little bitch the entire episode. Apparently he also likes Army jackets. Even though it was the Valentine's Day episode, he was dressed like Halloween. Rockin!

  • Cami literally says 150 words all at the same time.

  • The kids from Laguna Beach must own stock in "Solo" because they only drink out of red keg cups.

  • Kyndra would get 10 times hotter with a simple Ashlee Simpson nose job.

  • I've issued an Amber Alert (V.P) for Breanna since she hasn't been in an episode for about a month.

  • Breaking up on camera is awesome! Thanks for the most random break-up in Laguna history, Kyndra and Tyler!

  • I miss crazy Jessica.

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