Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Katie Holmes Manhandles Tom Cruise

Before Tom and Katie landed in Rome for their wedding, they took the time to take part in their favorite past-time, "watching a child's soccer game in tight jeans and a tight shirt."

Anyway, Tom and Katie have arrived in Rome with all their kids, which include but are not limited to, Isabella (who?), Connor (who?), and everybody's favorite (including Tom and Katie's) Suri! Alright Suri Claus! It is rumored that Tom and Katie will be getting married this coming weekend on either one or two of the weekend days. Guests were told to basically just "be ready" because a wedding could erupt at any minute. Oh, f*ck you. If I'm invited to a wedding I'm not just going to "be ready" to go at the drop of a hat. Imagine saying to your family, "hey guys I may be getting married at some point this weekend, so if I call you last minute you better be ready." Jackasses.

One source at UsWeekly is claiming that the day will be November 18th. Oh come on, don't ruin the surprise for the 600 guests who will need to get all dressed up for a wedding that may or may not take place that day and then basically wear those clothes all weekend.

Oh well, good luck with the wedding. I say the whole marriage ends on July 2, 2007. Or the weekend of July 2nd, 2007. Just be ready.


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Lori said...

It's about time Tom found some support for his growing man-boobs!

The on-call wedding thing is just stupid. I'd rather be invited to their divorce proceedings!

Anonymous said...

Katie has no curves, no butt. Tom is much, much curvier than Kate. What I don't get is why Tom insisted that Katie lose weight and get into shape for their wedding, when all he did was gain weight and turn into a fat slob?