Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Oprah Pays You To Donate

Oh Oprah you sassy little minx. So here's the deal. Guests of Oprah's show were given a kick ass gift, a $1,000 debit card! Everybody gets a debit card! You get a debit card and you get a debit card and you get a debit card! Yeah, well don't spend it too quick because Oprah is requiring that you then donate that $1,000 to charity. Seriously? If I were in the audience that day I would have pushed the old women out of the way and headed right for the door with my debit card in my hand. I mean, Gayle would have totally put in me in a headlock, but it is worth the risk. Imagine being on the set of Oprah and getting a grand and then telling you that you must give it away. You know who's charity Oprah? Me. I'm charity. I have student loans coming out my ass. I would ask that every person in the audience give me their $1,000 so I can stop paying my student loans. People literally kill to get on Oprah's show. Old women would pistol-whip their grand kids just to get in front of them in line. You know what? How would Oprah like it if they put all her favorite foods in front of her and then they made her give it all way to homeless kids. Yeah, she'd have a whole turkey stuffed down her pants and would would be running for the freeway. What a waste. What's next Oprah, knocking down the new homes you built in New Orleans?


*..Jeru..* said...

not cool Oprah!


Anonymous said...