Mariah Carey was leaving her mom's jewelry store in Aspen, CO when some photographers snapped up some pictures. My guess is that they were awe of some celebrity cameltoe. I wonder how many muppets had to die in order for Mariah to wear those boots. Somewhere in the world right now Elmo and Honker are hiding out in a cave, fearing for their lives. Also, if Mariah is in Aspen, which I assume would be cold, and is wearing boots (dead muppets), gloves, a sweater, and a jacket wouldn't she be a bit cold with her stomach hanging out? Oh, and by the way, that "chain belt" is totally not needed. I don't think...I don't think her pants are in danger of falling down, if ya know what I mean. She's a fat ass. Did I have to specify?
Moving on, I'm glad I finally saw some recent cameltoe pictures of Mariah because it really got me to thinking. With all of this cameltoe out there, there really isn't a rating system put into place for such events. Therefore I am proud to announce the "ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Camel Rating System...To the Stars!" Long title? Yes. Long overdue rating system? You bet. Here's how it works: I will be rating the cameltoe one a scale of 1-4 camels. 1 camel = minimal cameltoe, while 4 camels = I can almost see your fetus. Mariah falls smack dab right in the middle and is given 2 camels.
Yes, my friends, it is this type of award winning journalism that will really get me closer to my goals. God bless Mariah. God Bless the camel. God bless you.
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