Friday, December 01, 2006

Mariah Wears Cameltoe; Muppet Feet


Mariah Carey was leaving her mom's jewelry store in Aspen, CO when some photographers snapped up some pictures. My guess is that they were awe of some celebrity cameltoe. I wonder how many muppets had to die in order for Mariah to wear those boots. Somewhere in the world right now Elmo and Honker are hiding out in a cave, fearing for their lives. Also, if Mariah is in Aspen, which I assume would be cold, and is wearing boots (dead muppets), gloves, a sweater, and a jacket wouldn't she be a bit cold with her stomach hanging out? Oh, and by the way, that "chain belt" is totally not needed. I don't think...I don't think her pants are in danger of falling down, if ya know what I mean. She's a fat ass. Did I have to specify?
Moving on, I'm glad I finally saw some recent cameltoe pictures of Mariah because it really got me to thinking. With all of this cameltoe out there, there really isn't a rating system put into place for such events. Therefore I am proud to announce the "ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Camel Rating System...To the Stars!" Long title? Yes. Long overdue rating system? You bet. Here's how it works: I will be rating the cameltoe one a scale of 1-4 camels. 1 camel = minimal cameltoe, while 4 camels = I can almost see your fetus. Mariah falls smack dab right in the middle and is given 2 camels.

Yes, my friends, it is this type of award winning journalism that will really get me closer to my goals. God bless Mariah. God Bless the camel. God bless you.

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