Thursday, December 14, 2006

Sylvester Stallone is 85

They may be celebrating the premiere of "Rocky 6" but they should totally be celebrating Sylvester Stallone's 85th birthday. Damn this guy got old. I don't think I would want my grandfather boxing at his age. Speaking of which, we "get it" Sly you can "box." In every picture you're in you're putting up your fists. We know. It's Rocky 6. It's about boxing. You're a boxer. We don't need to see your boxing stance in every picture. Plus, when you make that face and clench your fist like that I'm concerned that you may be having a stroke. Please let someone know if you smell burnt toast, will ya?

Oh yeah, and as if this "post life crisis" couldn't get any worse, Sly will also be recreating his role in Rambo one last time. His upcoming film is: Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye. I think it should be called: Rambo IV: I have Cataracts.

When asked what the new Rambo would be like, Sly slurred:

"I wouldn't say this is a veteran's journey. It's more like the veteran mentality of the Vietnam War, which is juxtaposition today. The soldiers today I think are vastly different. A different breed. I think they're a little bit more aware. The other guys are a bit more naïve, and they went head-long into these crazy situations. Look at the death toll. 52,000 and by today's standards that's unbelievable. A quarter of a million suicides after that from people who were damaged by the war. It's just in his attitude and his demeanor that you know he's still quite distraught by what he's been through, but yet he can't escape it, damned if he does and he's damned if he doesn't."

Uh, I think that was just a rhetorical question Sly. Oh, by the way, what the hell were you just talking about?

No comments: