Sunday, March 04, 2007

Britney Attempts Suicide in Rehab

Leave it to those crazy Australians to break news that Britney Spears has allegedly tried to commit suicide in her Promises Rehab facility. The story originally from "News of the World" claims that Britney tried to hang herself with a bed sheet and was screaming, "I am the anti-Christ." Oh, but she didn't just stop there, my friends, oh no. Britney also wrote the numbers "666" across her forehead. That's pretty.

An unidentified staff member of Promises Rehab stated that none of the staff knew what to do when Britney was running screaming through the halls screaming "I am the anti-Christ." Really? No one knew what to do? No one? Look, I'm not a psychiatrist (although, I am) but my first thought would have been to shoot her with enough tranquilizers that would stop a charging elephant dead in its tracks. I would have then thrown a net over her and dragged her back to her room, followed by handcuffing her to her radiator and making her listen to "Genie in a Bottle" backwards...and on repeat. Oh wait, is that frowned upon?

Hopefully this story isn't true and if it is I hope that Britney is chilling the F out! I've been brainwashed with enough Anna Nicole funeral coverage and I don't think I am mentally prepared to deal with a Britney Spears funeral. I mean, you kinda are the anti-Christ, but that's not enough to force you to take a dirt-nap. Frankie says "Relax."


Pugzz said...

If this is at all true (and let's hope not) she is a very, very ill young woman. Psychotic breakdowns are no laughing manner. She will need lot's of recovery and therapy and may have PTSD knowing she tried to kill herself. It's very sad.


freethinker said...

Seems she had a death list tooo

Callie said...

This is so sad and bizarre I cant even believe it. Her kids are definitely gonna get taken away, wtf was she thinking? Once you have kids its not all about you anymore. God help her children, they need a Mom, even if its a crazy one, its better than none.

Anique said...

who u calling Australians Crazy!!

nancy said...

We fans are all just glad that her friend & original A&R Corina Lang was able to talk her into getting back into rehab. Everyone can talk shit but Britney has some real people in her corner who care for her!!

Anonymous said...

My problem is all the people that you say are in her corner were probably the same people getting her the shit she's on! Now they wanna care? They probably just want to make another album off her ass after this!