Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Dancing With the Stars. I Can't.

I'm sorry I tried. After a ton of emails from IBBB readers hoping that I would recap each weeks episode of Dancing With the Stars with the same brilliance as my "The Hills" recap (their words not mine) I tried to watch it. I did. I tried. I committed to 13 minutes to see what happens. It hurt. It actually hurt my eyes. Truth be told I wanted to see what Heather Mills would do. She didn't disappoint. In the first 14 seconds she hobbled down the stairs. You totally knew she was playing up the "wooden leg sympathy - WLS" right off the bat. I anticipate more WLS from Heather as the season continues.

Next up was Steve Sanders. Now, I've been reading the book, "The Secret" and it tells you that you can attract things into life by making it the forefront of your thoughts. I am responsible for the revitalization of Steve Sanders career. I've talked about Steve Sanders in The Hills each week. Now, the real Steve Sanders is back on TV. You're welcome Steve.

So, here is where I stopped watching. Steve Sanders comes out dancing and his shirt and pants are so tight. I immediately reach for the bleach to pour in my eyes. I wonder why the clothes are so tight. That thought passes as Steve's "dancing" makes me embarrassed. What is he doing with his hips? What does that even mean? I don't get it. I feel like a woman watching this. I immediately change the channel, eat a steak, drink a beer, and search the Internet for Antonella Barba "up-skirt" pics.

I'm sorry everyone, I tried. I just can't.

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