Monday, March 05, 2007

Mariah & Celine Named Worst Singers EVER


With the Grammy's behind us it's good to see that awards are still being given out in the music industry. British music "Q" decided to poll its readers to see who would be named the "worst singers ever." And the awards go to.....

Mariah Carey
Celine Dion
Ozzy Osbourne


So what did the panel have to say about these three? In regards to Mariah Carey, "She may have a 100-octave range and the ability to sing so loudly that birds' nests fall from trees, but that doesn't make it right."

For Celine Dion, "She grinds out every note as if bearing some grudge against the very notion of economy."

Finally, in summing up Ozzy Osbourne, "He now sings like he speaks - this may be cause for sympathy, but not for buying his albums."

Seriously, I've never heard of this magazine before, as reading anything British typically makes me nauseous, but this is BRILLIANT. No joke. How do I work for this magazine? I'm not a fan really of any of the above winners, but Mariah and Celine are at least good singers. I mean, they're no where near as good as me singing in the shower, but then again who is really? I don't think that we can fault their voices though. Let's keep it clean and strictly attack Mariah's acting skills and the way that every inch of her falls out of her clothes. And, let's stick to just faulting Celine for her awkward jokes, horrific accent, and "ugly singing faces." Ok, so Ozzy is done, but at least the drugs make him funny.

Who Created This Wonderful Award!?!

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