Monday, March 05, 2007

Michael Jackson Can Scare You for $3500

Have you ever wanted to be scared silly for 30 seconds? Do you happen to have $3500? Well, get your ass to Japan and bring your wallet because Michael Jackson was there to host an exclusive party and fans had to shell out $3500 to spend literally 30 seconds with him. Seriously, how much molesting can you get done in just 30 seconds? Look, I know that Michael must be really good at it now, but 30 seconds? I mean, it's going to take a least 25 seconds for the "Jesus Juice" to kick in and that only leaves him with a remaining 5 seconds to "diddle."

Anyway, when Michael arrived in Japan he was protected from hundreds of "fans" who were screaming and holding signs that said, "We love Michael" and "Welcome to Japan." The 48 year old Jackson has said:

"My friends and fans in Japan have been so supportive of me and my family for many, many years. My fans in Japan helped me achieve historic milestones in the music industry."

No word if he ended his statement with "hee hee" or "shamore!" However I can only assume he tossed in a "Mamma Say, Mamma Sa, Mama Cu Sa."

Wow, that's really nice of him to recognize that his Japanese fans "helped him achieve historic milestones." What a nice way to repay them for that by charging them $3500 to spend less than one full minute with him. I mean, the pictures that they'll be taking alone will take like 10 full minutes....but I digress.


Anonymous said...

your an amature dumbass

Pop Culture said...

Uh, no. I'm a professional dumbass. It was a tough decision to go pro. I wanted to stay an "amature" so that I could still compete in the "Dumbass Olympics" but I decided to go pro at the last minute. Great question though.

make root beer said...

As you're growing up as a teenager, there are a number of things that you look forward to; getting your drivers license,

graduating from high school, going to your senior prom, having your first date and having your first beer. The problem

with this last one is that the drinking age and the thing you want make it something that you just can't have yet. And

still, you want it and will go to any lengths to get it.

Underage beer drinking is certainly no secret and to try to sweep it under the carpet isn't going to make it go away. But

the most odd thing about underage drinking when it comes to beer is that even after kids sneak their first beer, they

still want to have another one. If you're wondering why that sounds so strange then you need to think back to when YOU

had your first beer. It was pretty nasty tasting. Let's be honest, beer is bitter and is an acquired taste. Very few

people, if any at all, enjoyed their first beer. Many even get sick after it because of the taste or the fact that

they're not used to the alcohol yet.