Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Harriet Carter Wednesday Surprises


Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! It seems like every Harriet Carter Wednesday I can an endless amount of email from people loving the "Harriet Carter" but having no idea what this is or why I started it. So nosy! Click Here to learn about how all of this crap got started.

Harriet, clearly, has award winning product lines. She likes to make things easy for you, surprise you, and scare you all at the same time. Let's see how Harriet did this time around!

Product #1 - Hey sexy! Have you ever blown air up an elephants trunk? Do you want to know what it feels like? Well now you can! For women, every day must be super boring to do the same hairstyle each and every morning. Why not give yourself a surprise hairdo every single day? All you need to do is place this (what I can only assume is highly flammable) "bag" on your head and insert your hair dryer in the other end. Turn on the hair dryer and in just minutes you will have your very own "surprise hairdo," that is if your head hasn't caught on fire or the bag hasn't melted to your hair. Seriously? Imagine the train-wreck of a hairdo that is the "end product" of this contraption. Now you know what Helen Keller must have had to deal with every morning before she practiced her braille for the day. Not laughing now are you? Selfish. The biggest mistake of this product is that there is no before and after. My challenge to the IBBB readers? Someone buy this "contraption" and video yourself using it and show all the readers out there how it works. Do it, do it, do it!

Product # 2 - I mean who doesn't want the crap scared out of them prior to actually using the toilet? Well now you can keep your guests laughing for literally 1 second when they go to use your bathroom and this ghetto red devil pops out of the toilet. Hysterical, right? Yeah, I didn't think so. According to the description it says, "Great for parties - latex rubber rascal is toilet humor at its best!" Really? Great for parties? This stuff may fly at the trailer park parties, but not in real society. By the way, how small is that toilet? It looks tiny. And where the hell is the rest of the toilet? Why is it just a floating seat? Is that part of the "trick?" And, does Harriet think we are retarded? Why do they need to state on the toilet seat that "Monster Pops Out of the Toilet?" Thanks Harriet for getting e-coli all over the place. Trash.

Product # 3 - Harriet really likes to hit below the belt. This hat isn't funny, it's hurtful. Harriet Carter hurts people. Harriet thinks this is a big joke. Let's give a balding guy a hat that says, "Wish You Were Hair." Get it? "Hair?" Yeah, kill yourself Harriet. If someone ever gave me that I'd be pissed. I'd give Harriet sweatpants that said "Fat Ass" on the back. Still laughing, Harriet? How do you like it? That's like giving a newly paralyzed person a t-shirt that says, "Get Wheels Soon." No?

2 comments:

Celine said...

We all know that toilets in trailers are smaller than regular toilets.

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