Friday, April 06, 2007

J. Glow Won't Be Slim Goodbody

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx has stated that she won't ever be a size "zero" to Elle Magazine. To quote J. Glow, "I couldn't ever be a size zero. I just don't see how I could get down to that size and still be healthy." Uh, Saint Jennifer Lopez? Yeah, I don't think you could get down to a size zero. You leave crash dieting up to your husband, Marc Anthony.

J. Glow continued ranting, "It wouldn't work. I have a butt, I have boobs and I have a woman's curves; there is no way I'd see them go to zero. I hate to look in a magazine and see a picture of a girl who looks so thin she looks unhappy and as if she just needs someone to give her a good meal."

You are so wise. Although, until you mentioned that you had a "butt" I didn't know that. I never noticed I guess. I just assumed you were dragging a pool float around your waist. Who was to know? Oh, and I don't think those girls who are skinny are unhappy. I mean, I think they're the walking dead, but not unhappy.

Saint Jennifer finalized her interview why really going out on a Holy note. "For me, looking good is all about looking healthy, and the ultimate beauty secret is about being happy in yourself."

Really? I assumed the "ultimate beauty secret" was being rich and famous and paying to look good, no? Was I wrong? I also thought it was making horrible movies and horrific movies on a regular basis. Come on, you know that's the real secret. God bless.

Who Said That!?!


sister suki said...

yeah....right....something tells me it's all that money that makes her look good....i mean does she think we don't remember what she looked like when she was a "fly girl?!"

Anonymous said...

You hussies - she's got a DIVINE ass - and you know it. The dopey idea that the androgynous build of a pre-teen boy is the ideal sexy shape for an adult female is - honestly - a fairly recent sickness.

She's just tooooo HOT for you, and you're jealous!

But like suki said, it doesn't exactly hurt to be flush with cash when the limo pulls up to the beauty parlor door, does it?