Thursday, May 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan To Turn 21. World to Implode.



Seriously, how is Lindsay Lohan not 21 yet? She's spent 1-month in rehab, yet can't even legally drink. I mean I wasn't 21 when I started drinking, but I was only in rehab for 15 days. 30 days is the problem, not 15. Anyway, when Lindsay No Pants turns 21 shortly she will be having a very low key b-day celebration in quiet Las Vegas (baby). She and her friends will take over an entire floor at Caesar's Palace and the suite that she stays in will be specifically designed for her and by "designed" I mean should be filled with life-saving equipment and a priest. Her dinner will be at "Social House" and the rest of her fiesta will be at "Pure" in which DJ AM will be forced to work, but only until Lindsay gets trashed and fights him so that she can start spinning. What's the best part about this you ask (besides that fact the filthy rich people like this will burn in hell)? Svedka Vodka will be paying for this entire party. Oh that's sweet. I mean, it isn't ironic at all that "Vodka" will be sponsoring a party for a girl who spent 30 days in rehab and attended AA meetings. Isn't that kinda like Osama Bin Laden sponsoring the 10th anniversary of September 11th?

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