Saturday, June 30, 2007

...In Other News...

Poor Mandy Moore. Her new album debuted and didn't do so well. I mean it didn't do horrible. Ok, it did. Her album came 30th this week and only sold 25,000 copies. Ouch, I've had more people come to my site this week then Mandy had people buy her CD? Mandy should start a blog OR go with my other solution to a struggling career. Go to skank. It's that simple. Just go to skank and watch the CD sales pour in. At least Mandy has her movie career to fall back on. In other news...

~ Jessica Simpson Gets Hot Again ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ Lilly Allen Punches, Kicks, and Stretches. She's Lilly! ~ CelebritySmack
~ Kelly Clarkson Sober? Why. ~ PopBytes
~ Tom Cruise Clogs ~ AgentBedHead
~ Ashley Banks is Still Alive ~ EvilBeet
~ Stephanie Tanner is a Woman. Hey DJ! ~ DListed
~ Jessica Biel is Cat-Woman ~ NinjaDude
~ God Bless Megan Fox ~ FatBack
~ Amy Winehouse After and Before? ~ POTP
~ Joss Stone Looks Like Candy ~ Glunp

Friday, June 29, 2007

Paris Goes to Maui

Paris Hilton, inspired by an artistic scarecrow on a farm in Iowa, has traveled to Maui for a little rest and relaxation after serving her 23 days in the slammer. She may try to disguise herself with that black, but her man-hands will always give her away. Anyway, Paris went to Hawaii all alone, which is odd since she was all alone for 23 days. I guess after seeing your family for 24 hours, you're good to go and ready to get away. Me personally, I would be ok with resting and relaxing in a mansion. Although, I guess I'm just spoiled.
Thanks to Paris giving an "interview" to Larry King, Larry King's numbers for the night had more than tripled. Well don't get used to those numbers, Larry. You're back to interviewing Angela Lansbury. I have no clue.

When White Trash Reunites

When white-trash reunites, magic happens. Real magic. I have no idea what that means. According to my friends over at X17 Online, Britney drove her ass up to Valencia, CA to bring some "legal documents" to her mom. Lynne was just hanging out in her trailer and doesn't look too thrilled. However, let's keep in mind that these are just pictures and we have no idea what they said to each other, which is why I gave them words to say...special words. So was it a restraining order that Britney gave her mom? Was it a take-out menu that she's returning? Perhaps a receipt from lunch? One may never know and by "one" I mean "me." One may also not care.
However, according to TMZ, Britney served her mom with legal documents asking her to stay away from her children if she is on medication. It's not technically a restraining order and, if it was, Britney couldn't be the one to give these to her mom. So basically this is just a letter from her lawyer. It's kinda like she's in homeroom, passing a note. Dumb.

Getting to Know You and You

Well, it's back again folks. A little segment you've been enjoying called Getting to Know YOU in which I shed a little light onto how many of you have come to find my site. Here are some of the words that your typing into "the Google" and somehow landing on good old ImBringingBloggingBack. Let's see what this week brings us (with my additional commentary, of course). Please keep in mind these are not jokes (sadly) and I'm definitely starting with my favorite:
  • "Maybe if I Google this in "getting to know you" in I'm Bringing Blogging Back and then I will be famous and I could finally go to rehab with Lindsay Lohan" (Your written thoughts have paid off and you have made it onto my site. Enjoy rehab. P.S, tell Lindsay that the freckles symbolize the journey of a whore)

  • Prison bitches (Thanks Paris!)

  • I'm Bringing the Blog Back (Nice name, retard)

  • Z snaps (Sassin' while typing?)

  • Ashley Olsen whit a brown hair (I don't even know what that means)

  • Celebrity watches the one that beep (Is this the same retard typing in all of these?)

  • How to dress like an elderly (Caution: Diddler Alert, Diddler Alert)

  • Bee sting boobs (Ouch! Bzzzzz)

  • Laurie Ann and boom cats (boom cat, boom boom cat!)

  • You can take all these tricks up my sleeve, I don't need them anymore (Sweet! Free tricks!)

  • Fat bitch fights (What can I say? People love bitches)

  • Who wants to stay sober these days anyway (Lindsay, clearly Googling from Promises Rehab)

  • My wife in the barbers chair white nylon cutting cape on (Huh? Oh wait. I get ya)

  • Please write a funny letter about the life of a salesman in the oil patch (Of course I will. What does that mean?)

  • Why are Friday's crazy (Because your mother is a whore. Just sayin...)

  • Sabado Gigante nipple slips (ay! ay! ay! ay!)

  • I'm going to be homeless (at least you'll have a kick ass tan)

  • Perming the hair with beer cans (Must be Prom season at the trailer park!)

  • The Yankees still suck (Agreed)

  • How to get Jessica Alba ass (When you find out, please share)
Another fruitful week of searches. Clearly, people still love porn and typing in mindless questions to Google, hoping that someone will answer. Well, I've answered. Until next time....

What's Living in Kim Kardashian's Pants?

No really, what's living in Kim Kardashian's pants? Personally, I think she's trying to smuggle Lindsay Lohan out of rehab, but that's just me. I mean, there's also just as good of a chance that one of the Olsen Sluts is camping out in her back pocket as well. It actually doesn't even look real. I bet she has one of those plastic asses that people wear on Halloween crammed into those Kermit the Frog jogging pants, yes jogging pants.
This brings me to my next question. What is it that Kim Kardashian actually does? I know she's pictured here with her dumper hanging out while she shops at Herve Legerand LaPerlain in Hollywood, but what does she do? Perhaps she smuggles Mexicans over the border. One may never know. All I do know is that she is being totally disrespectful to Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx. Rude.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

...In Other News...

The Spice Girls reunited for a photoshoot just shortly before they will be having a press conference to make a "special announcement." Rumor (Willis) has it that their "special announcement" is that they will reunite for real and make more horrific and ear-bleeding music. Not only may this include music, but catchy sayings like "girl power" and even an extra helping of "peace-finger signs." What a real treat this will be. It's like 1997 all over again. In other news...

~ Janet Jackson Gets Younger by the Day ~ DListed
~ Nicole Richie, and the World, Doesn't Know Why She's Famous ~ CelebritySmack
~ The Best and Worst Hollywood Beach Bodies ~ PopBytes
~ That's When I Knew Amy Winehouse Was a Cutter ~ AgentBedHead
~ Anne Hathaway Is Hep Free! ~ FatBack
~ Hilary Duff is a Woman ~ Yeeeah
~ Rosie's Daughter Tries Out for Rambo ~ POTP
~ Daisy Fuentes is Still Alive ~ DSF
~ Poshtoria to be on Ugly Betty? ~ AllieIsWired
~ Hayden Panettiere Continues to Lick Things ~ Gone Hollywood

Because This is How You Buy Groceries?

I hear it's almost impossible to go grocery shopping when you're not dressed like a street walker. I mean, just ask a street walker. Britney did a little grocery shopping the other day with her Siamese twin, Alli, and made sure that she had on her shiny high heels and daisy-dukes that allowed her gut to hang over the waste-band. Alli was kind enough to pick up the Windex, probably in hopes of trying to clean up Britney's career. Ohhhhh! Stop me if you heard this one before. Try the veal. Tip your waitress!

Is Britney taking my advice about "going to skank?" When your career is in the crapper and there is nothing left to do to safe it, just go to skank. I'm sure Britney reads this.

Who Shot That Street Walking Grocery Shopper!?!

Paris Hilton Does Larry King: Snicker

Did you know that Paris Hilton went to prison? Did you know she was released? Do you know she then went back? Do you know she was just released yesterday? Do you know that she was on Larry King? Me either! I really tossed and turned about writing a recap of the Paris Hilton/Larry King interview but then I thought to myself, "You know what makes boring things more fun? Drinking!" So I've cracked open a few Corona's (minus the need to be healthy) and figured I would experience this the same way I experienced the last season of American Idol or any of the seasons of The Hills....with absolute humiliation and embarrassment. Here's my thoughts on how the interview, and Paris, went down:

  • I'm proven wrong in the first 4 seconds. Larry King is actually alive.
  • What happened to Paris' voice? Why isn't it high-pitched and skanky?
  • Where did Larry find a metallic purple shirt?
  • Why is Paris' head only titled to the she tired?
  • Paris hated the food. For lunch she had bologna (she should be used to that). Dinner was "mystery meat." Again, she should be used to it.
  • Corona is good. I wish I had a lime.
  • Paris sat in bed and read her fan mail and cried. I'm crying watching this interview, but for different reasons.
  • Paris had nightmares at night that someone would come into her cell at night and hurt her. Uh, who's all up on themselves?
  • What was Paris' illness while in jail? Panic/Anxiety attacks, claustrophobia, and not eating or sleeping. Hmmm, sounds crazy to me.
  • Paris also cured herself of the claustrophobia by doing meditation and thinking she was in a "special place." Screw modern medicine, just think of a "special place."
  • Paris was a tricky little minx. She went to the MTV movie awards so that she could sneak out and turn herself in without the paparazzi knowing. Did she punk MTV AND the paparazzi?
  • Paris is also cut out a bunch of friends since she's been out of prison. Wow, the rats are the first to jump ship. Wait are they? What's the saying again? Hold on, Paris is reading some letters right now and I need to get another beer.
  • Since prison, Paris is trying to change her voice because when she gets nervous her voice goes really high. That explains it.
  • By the way, I was officially over this interview after the first 3 minutes. Now it just feels like I'm doing homework.
  • Paris has ADD, she admitted. Although Larry called it ADT. I think he's in the process of having a stoke.
  • She says Britney is sweet and Nicole Richie is like her sister. Boring. She wishes Lindsay the best and says a lot of girls have problems. You know what a real problem is, Paris? Not having a lime for my Corona. That's a problem.
  • I'll never get this hour of my life back. Ever. Well, I'm almost done with my time machine, so we'll see.

Presenting: Mariah Careytoe

With Mariah Carey you can always count on two things; A lot of forehead and a lot of cameltoe - not necessarily in that order. When I first came across these photos of Mariah arriving at the Crillon Hotel in Paris I first thought, "Who cares." However, I then immediately knew that by simply clicking on one of these photos we would absolute be able to expose the cameltoe or "Mariah Careytoe" as we can now call it. Well, Mariah didn't disappoint and we even get to play a game that we haven't been able to play in awhile: "The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Rating the Stars!" As you know from past games you can only achieve no more than 5 camels, almost unheard of. This time around we're awarding Mariah with 3 camels, yes 3 camels. Congratulations Mariah! Adding just a few more pounds could definitely sky-rocket you to 5 camels. Have the goal. Stick to the goal. Achieve the goal. Get awarded more camels.

Michael Lohan Spells Like Lindsay Drinks

Michael Lohan is a wicked good speller. Now look, I definitely have more words spelled incorrectly on this blog than spelled correctly, but at least I know how to spell the names of the people in my family. By now you've seen Michael Lohan's press release where he spells his own daughters name incorrectly:

"I look forward to order being restored to the chaos that our family life has become. Lyndsay, Michael, Ali and Cody need stability and both of their parents in their lives. I am anxious to spend time with them and end this cruel, needless separation."

Old news, right? Sure. However, IBBB has got another letter written by Michael Lohan to Lindsay. Let's see how he did...

Ohhh not bad. He got some of them right. Insert applause here ________

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Lindsay "With Child" in Rehab?

Is Lindsay No Pants "with child" while vacationing at Promise of a New Day Rehab in Malibu? Not really, but every other blog tends to circle the stomach of a celebrity and question if they're pregnant, so I figured why not jump on the bumpwagon. More importantly, Lindsay went for a hike while in rehab with some other rehab goers. Do you think they're psyched that they're pictures are going to be plastered all over the place? Oh well, that's what they get for having a "problem." You want to have a drug and/or drinking problem? You get your picture taken. Next time you want to do "the drugs" you remember that. Actually, I say if you're in California you should start doing drugs because chances are that when you check yourself into rehab you'll get to make friends with a major celebrity. Hmmm, I should head out to CA.

Harriet Carter Wednesday: The Stalker

First off, Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday. Second, this weeks Harriet Carter post will be a bit different. Why you ask? Because I've officially found out exactly who "failure model chick" is. Now if you are new here today, don't even bother reading this. If you are one of the many die-hard Harriet Carter Wednesday readers you are probably rejoicing over the uncovering of "failure model chick." Don't ask me how I found her. I just did. To my surprise her name isn't technically "failure model chick." It's actually Rachael Platt. Boring. Regardless I'm going to continue calling her "failure model chick." Also, she's technically isn't a failure as a model because "failure model chick" has the following accomplishments under her belt:

  • A finalist for the prestigious Ms. Trump Taj Mahal (The Apprentice on NBC)
  • Jersey Style Magazine covergirl (breezy, yet easy)
  • Longhorn Tobacco Calendar Girl (Mmm smokey and cancerous)
  • Sweetheart Gowns Bridal Magazine
  • And, of course, the Harriet Carter Catalog

At least this finally explains why I haven't been able to break into the Harriet Carter modeling industry. I'm just a simple dude from a blog. I've never been on a New Jersey magazine cover and have never been a finalist for anything.

I love how "failure model chick" is all kind and sweet modeling a hat or leopard caftan in the Harriet Carter Crapalog, but get her in another photoshoot and she goes straight to skank. Honestly, I think that's her best bet anyway. Going straight to skank is always your best bet when your career is tanking. I actually just spoke of this concept the other day in my Brooke Hogan blog post. I wonder what Harriet is going to think when she discovers that her cute little hat model is also being photographed with her boobs hanging out. I mean what will the customers think? You think they're still going to buy a car seat neck pillow or a flying pig hat that claps when you pull the string from "failure model chick" now that they know her troubled past? Sales will likely plummet. Could this be the end of the Harriet Carter catalog? Da-da-duuuuuun!

Beyonce Later Wrapped Vegetables in Her Dress and Grilled It

Beyonce won some big ass awards last night at the BET Awards. Beyonce took home "Video of the Year" for "Irreplaceable" and was also named best R&B Artist. However, just to rub it in Beyonce's face, Jennifer Hudson also won two awards; "Best New Artist" and "Female Actress." Looks like Beyonce got the shaft again in the actress category. I mean she got looked over for her role in Austin Powers a few years ago and then she got looked over again for her role in Dream Girls. What's a bugaboo to do? Speaking of which, Destiny's Child reunited last night, although I'm thinking it was only done so that Beyonce could show how much better she was doing than the other two. I say bring back Destiny's Child. Hell, even add a 4th member again and re-release "Say My Name." Bring back the year 2000. That was a good year for me. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Beyonce has on enough tin foil to grill 250 pounds of vegetables. I bet it was hot to the touch.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

...In Other News...

~ Blind Item Time ~ CelebritySmack
~ Uncle Jesse Was Drunk Tank? ~ EvilBeet
~ Sinead is Still Alive ~ DListed
~ Poshtoria is Nice. Very Very Very Nice. Neat. ~ AgentBedHead
~ Britney Spears Still Hooking ~ NinjaDude
~ Will Emma Watson Be the Next Lindsay No Pants? ~ FatBack
~ Nancy Grace Full of Child ~ POTP
~ Kelly Clarkson is a Bad Famous Person ~ Glunp

Breaking News: Britney Shows Sideboob

Sure Paris Hilton may be out of the slammer, but by now that's old news. While the paparazzi were flashing their bulbs at Paris, somewhere across town Britney was flashing her "bulbs" at the paparazzi. It's been a while since we've seen any celebrity sideboob so I'm glad that Britney has really stepped up to the plate.

Britney was in Beverly Hills at Jill Roberts store where apparently she didn't see the paparazzi standing there watching her try on clothes or the large crowd that gathered around to watch Britney try on a bikini and jeans. Maybe she didn't care. Maybe she's one of those sick son-of-a-bitch perverts that gets off on having strangers watch her get undressed. You're sick Britney, sick! That's it, back to Promises for you. Do they take sex-perverts?

Paris Hilton is a Free "Woman"

Here-ye! Here-ye! Parents, keep an eye on your kids because Paris Hilton is free to walk the streets again as she has just been released from the most popular prison stay ever. Never has there been more attention of someone leaving a place since Jesus left his tomb three days after his Crucifixion and, let's face it, Paris is as close to Jesus as you can get.

Some prison workers claim that Paris has lost 10 pounds since she started her prison sentence, which I think is brilliant since she was only there for 23 days. Someone tell Valerie Bertonelli to hang up on "Jenny" and just start a short prison term. People are also saying that Paris is in "good spirits." The photo above is one of the first of Paris exiting prison. No joke, I think she's looking more and more like Martha Stewart.

You can check out Paris Hilton on Larry King tomorrow night and I'm sure you can check her out taking advantage of every photo opportunity in the next 24 hours as well. This will consist of Paris driving, stopping to get something to eat, waking up Robertson Blvd, walking into Hyde, walking out of Hyde, having lunch at the Ivy, and at all other "low-key" places.

Who Said That!?!

Beyonce and JayZ in St. Tropez: Please Insert Sexual Innuendos Here:

T-o-o m-a-n-y s-e-x-u-a-l i-n-n-u-e-n-o-s, w-i-l-l c-o-m-b-u-s-t. Beyonce and JayZ were living the vida loca in St. Tropez recently when it appears that they were at a Sea World type atmosphere. Now is it a bit ironic that JayZ is sucking on something and Beyonce is putting nuts in her mouth? What? I'm just saying, it's subliminal. Finally, it appears that Beyonce is sitting on JayZ's lap while she really ponders some of life's biggest philosophical challenges. Either that or she's "becoming a woman."

In legitimate Beyonce news, she and Shakira Shakira are up for "Video of the Year" at the BET Awards and Beyonce and JayZ are up for "Best Collaboration" for "Deja Vu" and also for "Upgrade U" (which is not short for University). Butt, it doesn't stop there for Beyonce. She's also up for BET "Choice Award" for 'Irreplaceable." Unfortunately Beyonce was not nominated for her role in "Dream Girls." I mean it's only a music award show, but I'm sure Beyonce is pissed....especially because the rest of the Dream Girls cast was nominated. Insert applause here ______.

Check out the BET Awards tonight, June 26th on BET. Check your mother's local listings for channel and time.

Dear Myspace Advertisers, Huh?

Dear Myspace Advertisers,
I'm puzzled so I thought I would write to you. Who are you advertising to? And, is this really your best attempt at having me click on one of your ads? Honestly, I really don't want to win. I don't want to win a prize. I don't want to punch the white guy. I don't want to be the white dog and race the black dog. I really don't want to know the date of my death. I don't want to try to make the fat guy not wet himself. I don't want to know if I'm a good flirt. Ok, fine I did try to break the cartoon bikini girl out of the glass box just to see what happened to her. I was forced to take a quiz. The point is, why are you trying to humiliate me with these ads? I don't care if my dog wins or the guy pisses himself. I don't want to win your stupid ringtones. More importantly, however, I want to know who is playing these games. No really, I want your names. I'll also need your mother's maiden name and the last four digits of your social security number. What? Just go with me on this one. Anyway, come up with some more interesting ads. Why would I ever feel the need to vote on whether or not I think "New York" from Vh1's "I Love New York" is hot or not. You even left me with an option to choose, "I don't care." I don't want to arm wrestle George Bush. I don't want to play "put a wig on cartoon Britney Spears." I don't want to guess if Joan Rivers is dead or alive (I know she's dead). Stop with the quizzes, stop with the games, and stop with the lamo ads.

Luke-Warm Regards,

Brooke Hogan Split Her Pants

Financial times must be tight for singer (??) Brooke Hogan as she could only afford certain portions of her pants. Luckily for us, the "ass" and "crotchal" regions we too expensive for Brooke to buy, so she is flashing both sides for her fan(s). Either that or her fat ass busted the seams. It's a tough call, a real tough call. You know, I feel like Brooke is really on the right track though because my motto is when your career isn't going where you want it go, simply go straight to skank. Not enough album sales? Go to skank. Didn't get that promotion you went for? Go to skank. Just lost the Oscar? Go to skank. Drinking a bit too much? Definitely go to skank. You're the daughter of an overly orange Hulk Hogan? Go to skank.

Oh by the way, Brooke was "singing" at a Kiss 95.1 FM radio show in Charlotte, North Carolina...where I believe this may be the uniform of the locals? What? I jest.

Who Shot That Tear?!?

Monday, June 25, 2007

...In Other News...

Lindsay is doing so well at rehab that she barely even needs to be there anymore! Lindsay took some time off from rehab to go rollerblading with her friends in Venice this past weekend. Apparently rehab makes it difficult for you to rollerblade as her friends are literally holding her up. Hmmm, very reminiscent of a typical Friday night, Lindsay? In other news...

~ More Lindsay In/Out of Rehab ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ Shar Jackson and Her 51 Kids ~ DListed
~ Cameron Diaz Pisses Off Peru ~ CelebritySmack
~ A Mighty Heart Review ~ AgentBedHead
~ The Hollywood Wax Museum - Not So Life-Like ~ PopBytes
~ Emily Scott. You're Welcome. ~ FatBack
~ David Lee Roth: Still Alive ~ Yeeeah
~ The Prince Is Important For Some Reason ~ EvilBeet
~ Jessica Simpson: Because Thinner is Better ~ POTP

Hayden Panettiere is Not Just Like Us

Hayden Panettiere was busy this past weekend pumping gas while in LA. I feel compelled to post pictures like this because (1) it's absolutely pointless and (2) it reminds me of those magazine titles. So what magazine titles you ask? You know the ones that show pictures of celebrities doing random things like pumping gas, carrying groceries, and holding coffee? The caption to those pictures is always, "They're Just Like Us!" Look at Halle Berry tripping on the sidewalk...JUST LIKE US! Seriously? Who cares. Also, they're NOT just like us. They are way better than us because they're rich and they're famous and that makes them way better than us. If you had a picture of me walking down the street with an iced coffee and Brad Pitt walking down the street with an iced coffee I would not say he is "just like me." He is better than me because he's rich. It's simple math, my friends. The more money you have than someone the better you are as a person. Now take these lessons that you've learned here today and teach your children. It's better that they learn at a young age.

Britney to Play Restraining Order Game?

When Britney goes from ratty blond wig to ratty brown wig the rumors about her tend to heat up. If we were to plot this out in a chart you would see the correlation. I mean, at this point it's all about stats. The good folks over at X17 Online are claiming that Britney Spears is about to file a restraining order against her mother, Lynne Spears. Allegedly this is Britney's way of keeping her mother away from her two kids ("what's his face" and "the other one"). It appears that Lynne may have a little dependency on some pain killers and Britney isn't cool with that.
Come on, give Lynne a break. With all the crap that Britney has done, Lynne should be allowed to take enough tranquilizers to stop a charging gorilla dead in it's tracks. Like I said before, Lynne should stop focusing on Britney and start focusing on Britney's sister, Jamie-Lynn. Let's face it, she's the better of the Spears at this point anyway and could potentially be drug free. Lynne can do all the things that she should have done for Britney to Jamie-Lynn and see how she turns out. If eventually Jamie-Lynn starts flashing her "gentleman greeter" to the paparazzi then Lynne can just give up all together. Seriously, where was I going with this? To recap: Britney in brown wig and possibly filing restraining order against mother.

Foxy Brown, Can U Hear Me Now?

I almost don't even where to begin with this one. Apparently Foxy Brown, who after multiple DNA tests has proven to not be the same person as Lil' Kim, got the bag beat out of her the other day. Oh, and by "bag" I really mean got her weave torn off her head, her hearing aid ripped out (what), and had her hand bag stolen. Oh and it gets better. The girls that allegedly beat the bag out of Foxy were three girls of her ex-boyfriend. Foxy dumped her boyfriend after she found out that he was a pimp. Ok, so let's regroup for a minute:
  • hearing-aid
  • torn weave
  • stolen bag
  • pimp

Just making sure we were all on the same page. And how does Foxy Brown NOT have her own reality show? I mean this beating alone could be 3 episodes, plus the whole pimp storyline could absolutely be the Christmas special.

Who Said That!?!

Hey Paris, See U Next Tuesday!

It's official, Paris Hilton will be let out of the slammer on Tuesday and will be giving her first interview with Larry King, who apparently is still alive. Supposedly Larry did not pay Paris a dime for this interview that will air on Wednesday night on CNN. I think it would be great if Larry pretended that he had no clue that she was in prison and if he brought up her sex tape from a few years ago. Bonus point if he calls Paris "Nicole" during the interview several times.

Who Said That!?!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Antonella Barba Alive and With Clothes

Antonella Barba is alive and kicking! It took me a second to realize who this was, as I'm used to seeing her in "different pictures." So, when Entertainment Weekly has their annual "Must List" party, you know that on that "must list" is Antonella Barba clue. I'm almost as stumped as why Antonella is there as Oxana Baiul. Oxana is definitely on the "must list" clue. No offense, Entertainment Weekly, but if these people are on the "must list" I don't want what's on the list. Anyway, in other Antonella Barba news....there isn't any.

Paris Hilton: A Brand New Skank

Don't think that once Paris Hilton exits prison she'll be going back to her old partying ways. Sadly, we won't be able to play the favorite IBBB game, "Is That Paris Hilton Ass, Boob, or Stanky Putanky?" anymore. Sad. Very Sad. Paris had a brief prison interview with Ryan Seacrest and claims, "I'm so much more grateful for everything that I have, even just to have a pillow at night or food. You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it. Frankly [I'm] sick of it and I want to use my fame in a good way."

Now, will Paris give up her skank-ways? I hope not. If I can't write about Paris whoring around town, I'm not sure what the point of me having this site is. Maybe it turns into a 7-day a week Harriet Carter blog? Let's hope Lindsay doesn't get on the straight and narrow or I'm in trouble!

Who Said That!?!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

...In Other News...

Did you ever feel you were getting old? You know what makes me feel old? Paula Abdul turning 45. Yes, 45. Paula is seen here in West Hollywood's "Ketchup" restaurant the other night, while it is reported that MC Scat Cat slipped in the back door...of the restaurant. Get your mind out of the gutter people. Even though I feel like I'm getting older, a random person in the elevator of my work asked me if I was the new intern. I wanted to hi-five her. In other news...

~ Pauly Shore is Still Alive ~ CelebritySmack
~ Fergie Cleans Up at the PhotoShop Awards! ~ DListed
~ Spice Girls to Not Get Knocked Up ~ EvilBeet
~ Pete Doherty Does Disney ~ AgentBedHead
~ Paris Passes a Note During HomeRoom ~ NinjaDude
~ Apparently Scott Baio is Still Alive ~ Yeeeah!
~ Jessica Biel Does GQ ~ POTP
~ Tara Reid Chillin ~ Glunp
~ Pam Does Magic ~ DSF
~ The Affleck's and Damon's Go on Holiday. Pip Pip! ~ ASL
~ Gisele Likes to Kick and Stretch. She's 50! ~ GabSmash
~ Fancy Yogurt Ads from Brazil ~ PopBytes

Kelly Clarkson Played the "Eat & Puke" Game

Kelly Clarkson, famed actress of award winning movie "From Justin to Kelly" and winner of American Idol Season 1, is the latest celebrity to admit to having an eating disorder back in the day. It appears that Kelly was bulimic for a short period of time, although I think the official medical term is "EatAndPukeitis." Apparently when Kelly was in high-school she didn't get the big role in her high-school musical and told CosmoGirl Magazine, "I thought...If I came back and I'm cuter and thinner...then I'll get the role. One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it."

Really? Cold turkey? Are you sure you just didn't have the stomach flu that day and now you're using that story to help sell your failing album? I'm just assuming. Since Kelly's album isn't doing as well as everyone would like, expect to see Kelly thinner than ever in the coming months, perhaps due to her "cold turkey" diet.