Everyone keeps on blaming Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears for their crazy ways. They (allegedly) having drinking and drug problems. I don't blame them. However, everyone keeps on looking past one common thread: Promises Rehab. What in the hell goes on at Promises Rehab? Whatever it is that they do there, it doesn't seem to be working. As opposed to writing an open letter to Dina, Lindsay, or Michael Lohan - I've decided to write an open letter to a building; Promises Rehab.Dear Promises Rehab,
How are you? I'm fine. What's new? N/M/H. I have a quick question for you, Promises. What the hell takes place at your facility? I always thought it was a rehab facility, but now I kind of think it's just a club. I feel like it's Hyde 2.0. Is your "club" a place for celebrities to drink and do lines of coke off of a public toilet? Whatever you do there to help doesn't seem to be working. In fact, it seems to make these celebrities worse. Maybe your facility shouldn't be so nice and "ritzy." Maybe Lindsay doesn't need to play tennis on your property and be allowed to go out to the gym 6 times a day. Maybe, just maybe, you should be strapping people to their beds and force them to listen to the entire soundtrack of "The Bodyguard" until the alcohol and drugs run from their systems. The only downfall of this method is that they may develop and unhealthy hatred for Whitney Houston, but that's a whole different issue. Anyway, Promises, do you have a free one-day pass that you could provide me? I kinda want to check it out. It looks like a blast.
Luke-Warm Regards,
IBBB
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that is some SWEET photo-shopping.
I love that you pulled out every ridiculous piece of free clip art you could. You're AMAZING and your blog makes every single day better. (Especially Harriet Carter Wednesday!)
:)
I agree the main part of the problem is Promises itself. It is nothing but a spa where wrung out addicts can be patted on the head, told 'there-there', and get in good enough shape for their next bender. The place is a joke. Put these losers in the military, or a REAL rehab hospital such as Hazelden. These pampered celebs need to be cut down to size, lose the ego. All Promises does is feed it and yes, make it worse. I'm not sure Doctors working for Promises would know a true drug addict if they were run over by their patients SUV.
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