Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dane Cook Moves in On My Girl



That smug son-of-a-bitch, Dane Cook, is totally moving in on my girl Jessica Alba. It's been a while since I posted anything about Jessica as it was rumored that she was back with her old boyfriend, Cash (?? Change??) and let's face it I can't compete with a cool name like that. Anyway, Jessica Alba and Dane Cook were at the LA premiere of their latest movie "Good Luck Chuck." Dane Cook had recently stated that Jessica was one of the funniest actresses that he's worked with. Yeah, that's just a "line" Jessica. It's not that you're not funny, but you're not. Your job here on planet earth is to be hot and win fake awards like, "Hottest Woman in the World" by magazines that are basically on their way out. Your role here on planet earth is not to be a funny actress or even an "actress" for that matter Just look good and we'll buy anything you're selling. Selling frozen poop and some marbles? Jump into a bathing suit while you're selling it and SOLD!
As a side note, I'm just bitter because Dane Cook has my career. Kind of funny, but not really. Kind of good looking, but not really. Kind of talented, but not really. I think he experienced a lot of "right place at the right time" syndrome. I hope to suffer from that one day too.

Dane Cook Moves in On My Girl

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Honey, you are way hotter than Dane.
<3 Jess

DebilDog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DebilDog said...

Dane who? Your day will come my little friend...oh just you wait! The Great Oz ain't called Great for nothing! :)