Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Heidi Montag "Sings" Live. I'm HAPPY!


There comes a day in every humans (and dogs, not cats) life when you get down on your knees and thank sweet Jesus that you're alive. Today, my friends, is that day. Clearly I am the Good Will Ambassador to "The Hills" as I got this clip sent to me from about 50 different people. Oh the joy it brings.

Heidi Montard turned 21 years old and was celebrating her 21st at a star studded event that consisted of such celebrities as Heidi Montard, Steve Sanders, and Perez Hilton. All hot messes. Anyway, halfway through her birthday celebration Heidi decides to declare a holy war, or "jihad" if you will, on the party singing. Yes folks, singing. Oh look at her go. The way she moves that same arm up and down. She's singing like it's her last day on earth. At one point I think she technically goes into a seizure. Oh and look here, she even has a backup dancer. Why, it's none other than Steve Sanders. It seriously looks like Heidi is having a fight with herself.

Ahhh birthday's. I remember a birthday of yesteryear when I, too, got completely trashed, broke some shit, got into a fight, fell off of a table, ruined a friendship, and got thrown out of the bar. And you know what? At no point did I ever think of singing to my friends. They had already suffered enough. That's why I am a national treasure and Heidi Montard is the slut of Satan (thanks Traci).

Heidi Montag "Sings" Live. I'm HAPPY!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I.CAN'T.STOP.LAUGHING. I think I did a better job lip synching 'boogie fever' in my bedroom when I was 6. Someone in her family, not Steve Sanders, needs to pull her aside and tell her to stop it. Just outright stop it. I would never let a family member make a fool out of themselves like that. overandoverandoverandover. Its just not right.

that's what she said...

I'm Sad. About this song.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so it's agreed that you really ARE a National Treasure. Your boss may not buy into it but, I mean, you would definitely be considered "special"...it may not necessarily be the same kind of "special" that your Mom references during your daily affirmation calls with her, but that's neither here nor there. (Does anybody even know what that means? Yeah, it's fun to say, but who actually said anything in the first place about going here OR there? And is there a beach involved with this coming and going? I'm confused.) Moving on....I think it's time to stop resting on your "National Treasure" laurels and focus your energy on moving up in the ranks. I personally think that a good ultimate goal would be to become the Eighth Wonder of the World. (Honestly, who hasn't dreamed of being awarded that title? Wait, do they give out crowns for that? Count me in if crownage is involved. Yes, I did just make up that word...what can I say, it's been a productive night, kids!) But let's not get too hasty...you've still got a long way to go before you can play in the same league as the Great Wall of China. After all, it is pretty great. So, you're probably wondering "what, exactly, lies between those two honors?" Well, it's your lucky day because I happen to have the answer. And for a small, nominal fee this answer can be yours too! I kid, I kid! This one's on me. I propose that your new goal should be to become the first...drum roll, please... "INTERNATIONAL Treasure!!!" Gosh! International?!?! That's gotta be at least, like, half of the globe, right?! I mean, I think even Alaska and Hawaii would be included! I do feel sorry for them always getting the short end of the proverbial stick on maps...being clumped together like that, off in the corner. Tugs on the heart strings a bit. Anyways. I'll give you some time to let the enormity of it all settle in...being in the midst of this kind of genius can be overwhelming, so for now I must bid you adieu...
P.S. Sadly, again, no booze were involved in the writing of this novella...no animals were harmed either....