Tuesday, September 25, 2007

MTV The Hills: Jason Gets Engaged

What a real treat this episode was! The writers of The Hills must have been working overtime to not only add to the script that J Wahl has a girlfriend, but they are moving in together, and are now getting engaged. Lisa Loveless makes another cameo this episode, as does Jenn Bunney. The only person missing this week? 3 words: Elodie. Here's how this episode, "For Better of For Worse" went down:
  • So, I'm an idiot. I know, you're shocked. In the 3,000 "The Hills" commercials I saw over the past week I thought Jason said to Lauren, "yeah, but I do want you to be my girlfriend." Yeah, no. Time for IBBB to get his hearing checked because he really said, "yeah, but I do want you to MEET my girlfriend." Yup, that changes everything. I'd also just like to say that Jason isn't as good of an actor as Lauren and definitely not as good as Steve Sanders.

  • What's up with Lauren's "baby" voice. Trash. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't toss her outta bed, but it's aggravating.

  • Woo-hoo! And enter Lisa Loveless AGAIN! Two episodes in a row? I'm in heaven. I love how Lisa Loveless is dressed like a lumberjack right now. And with that combover? HOT!

  • I love watching Whitney take direction from Lisa Loveless. Whitney looks like she's trying to translate German to Chinese when Lisa is talking.

  • Heidi shops for a wedding dress. No joke, when Heidi and Jenn Bunney were walking up the street to the bridal shop I swear to God I thought she was with Elodie. This got me to thinking, here are my picks for Heidi's bridal party: Jenn Bunney, Jenn Bunney's old nose, Lisa Loveless, Lisa Loveless' combover, Elodie, Brent BoltHouse, and the horse that lives at Heidi's parents ranch. I'd like to see each of those things walking down the aisle.

  • Bonus points for Jenn Bunney asking Heidi if she thinks she's making a mistake once she was technically wearing the wedding dress. What a great bridesmaid.

  • Whitney and Lauren have to go to a fitting for Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. When they open the door it's like a whole room of Justin Bobby's!

  • One dude in the band wears a size 28 jeans and the other dude literally wears a size 8 woman's jeans. I don't know what's worse. The fact that one is wearing girl jeans or the fact that any man can fit into a size 28. Technically those should be girl jeans. Moving on.

  • The gangs goes to a dive bar called "Dime Bar." When they walk in, it's a bar filled with Justin Bobby's. Seriously, Justin Bobby's are everywhere. The bar is kind of like "Where's Waldo" but instead on The Hills it's "Where's Justin Bobby?" See if you can spot him in the crowd and win a prize.

  • Everyone starts doing shots and like the typical "girls" that this crew is they talk about doing "Red Headed Sluts." Why does every girl brag about that shot?

  • Whitney says, "I hope I don't get wasted," but then throws back a "variety pack" of shots. Lauren looks all nervous. Prude. What is she nervous about? Does she think she'll get fired from Teen Vogue and still only make $25,000 an episode? Yeah, I'd be nervous too.

  • Commercial Break: So....the new "scripted show" on MTV coming out...Kaya? Really? I'll start calling it Kaka. And what do they mean the first "scripted" drama on MTV? What about The Hills, Laguna Beach, Newport Harbor, 8th and Ocean (remember that crap?), Real World, Road Rules, etc. Those weren't all scripted? Oh wait, those were scripted comedies not dramas. Ok, I'm all caught up.

  • Seriously, is Whitney reading cue-cards? No joke? I think she is. When they're waiting for Red Jumpsuit to show up for the photoshoot, Whitney is all like, "Where-are-they? I-hope-they-didn't-have-car-trouble." Very robotic. Awesome. And the Emmy goes to...

  • Although, bonus points for Whitney's impersonation of Lisa Loveless. Nice job on making fun of your boss on camera. I'm sure she'll never see it. Do it behind her back like the rest of us.

  • Heidi and Steve Sanders are registering for their wedding and I secretly pray that the all the glasses on the wine shelf collapse and cut them up. Is that not a normal thought process?

  • Awesome, Jason's house-warming party. We get to meet his girlfriend, "Katja." Wow, way to trade down Jason. To quickly sum up, they just moved in and somehow are now engaged at the party, yet we missed the proposal. I would guess this is how he would have proposed: Katja, the producers told me to tell you we're engaged, so...cool? Thanks.

  • Who's that old bald dude that Audrina was talking to? Creepy.

  • Lauren decides to basically tell Jason that he's being an idiot and that he's too young to get engaged. I love how Lauren has this disease where she finds fault in everyone else who is in a relationship because she is miserable and alone. FINE. Lauren, I'll come to LA and we can date for a while. See you in 6-hours.

On the next episode of The Hills: Elodie is back! God bless that crazy bastard. Elodie quits her job at BoltHouse. Sweeeeeet. Stay tuned.

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MTV The Hills: Jason Gets Engaged
The Hills


Irishstayc said...

What??? no comment on the superbly scripted scene between Steve Sanders and Heidi about him not telling his parents that he was engaged?? LOL!!! They are so setting this up for a breakup... as if we would care.
Thanks fabulous as always and for the record - I too thought Jason said "I want you to BE my girlfriend". Time for miracle ear - i bet harriet carter has a version!

Taylor said...

We thought it was ' do you wanna be my girlfriend ' too. Its what you were SUPPOSED to think. I love your 1st paragraph of the episode summary, the reference to the 'yeah - no'. Tell me you got that from LB, when stinky cooch Alex squeaks out to Jason ' don't you wannnnna be with meeeeee ' and he looks at her, 'yea no'. We say that daily in my house. Ah, the good times.

I LOVELOVE reading your blog first, then watching the Hills. thankyouthankyou for the funniest thing on the internet.

Berniesgirl said...

I totally thought he said "i want you to be my girlfriend". jason is a douche and he was TOTALLY wasted at his party.
steve sanders looks like the abominable snowman from the claymation with his lame ass goatie.
nice dress heidi. also, i love that heidi's only friend is jen bunney and her new nose.
i'm so excited that Lo is in the next episode and all she talks about is JustinBobby.
Lisa Loveless in her lumberjack is the highlight of my life.

heidi's mom said...

excellent photo shop as always with the teeth. How many things was Heidi buying? She just kept on clicking that machine. It thought J Wahl was wasted too and Lauren def was, as always.

I LOVE your site and these recaps. MTV should hire you. Oh! You should make a guest appearance on the hills!!!!!!!!

sister suki said...

yeah, they were totally registering at crate and barrel...i can tell...and i also looked for their registry on line. (because i'm a loser like that)...it's nowhere to be found. maybe they "fake" registered the same way they got "fake" engaged.

ibbeckyb said...

As soon as Harriet Carter comes up with some craptastic way for me to propose to you, ibbb, it's so on. BTW, I received an actual Harriet Carter crapalog in the mail yesterday. I'm still trying to figure out who hates me so much. I think I'm going to order the "Bingo Mask" and give whoever it was that gave Harriet my address a heart attack. Love how you brought back 8th & Ocean, the most scripted of them all. Of course, it got me to thinking-- how can these shows be scripted when its obvious that half of these tards can't read? Food for thought.

ibbeckyb said...

Oh, and I think there should be a drinking game based on how many times Audrina's Teeth say "I'm totally done!" in reference to Justin Bobby. I mean, come on Audrina, like you don't see X-17 following y'all around with cameras. The jig is up.

Anonymous said...

FUNNIEST EVER. How you are stuck with just blogging is beyond me, but we are grateful you are here :-)

Pop Culture said...

Well thank you all my IBBB/The Hills disciples. Now, please help me to continue to sell out by spreading the word of this sad and tired little blog. Write MTV, hell write congress. Facebook seems to love this crap, whatever that is. So "do more facebook" if that even is a thing.

Thanks for the continued support.

Anonymous said...

why didn't you mention steve sanders and the "i haven't told my parents we are engaged yet" saga!?!?!!?

Anonymous said...

My new passtime is to try to crack the code that is The Hills. I'm intent on finding out exactly what is truth and what is fake on this show. For instance, I think the whole "fight" between douchette and Elodie for that job was a complete fabrication to piss us all off. However, I also believe Jason is really dumb enough to get engaged already. And Lauren's pissed-off persona always looks real to me. Oh, The Hills, you crazy roller coaster of a show!

Melissa said...

No kidding! And what about the ripped-from-an-80's-flick jealous look Katja was giving Lauren. Who in the hell does that in real life...two feet away from the person...with a camera crew at the ready. Katja's eyes scare me. You cant have faith in this relationship if she's pulling McStalker four hours into the engagement. You just cant.
Now LC and Brody O'Worthless making out in the next episode? Bring. It. On.

The Hills Fan - Kim Kline Fan! said...


Latest Episode 327 "No Place Like Home" 5.5.08
Song: Kim Kline "Inside"
Located at 7 minutes and 5 seconds, into the show

Episode 325 "A New Roomate" 4.21.08
Song: Kim Kline "No Fool"
Located at 19 minutes and 20 seconds, closing the show

Episode 324 "Girls Night Out" 4.14.08
Song: Kim Kline "Gotta Let It Go"
Located at 2 minutes and 29 seconds, opening the show