Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Aniston, Oprah, Oprah, Aniston

My ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, has recently stated in Harper's Bazaar that if she could be anyone for just one day, it would be Oprah. I personally would love to hear her Oprah impersonation myself. Although, I'm sure Jennifer Aniston's impersonation of Oprah would basically just be Jennifer Aniston playing "Rachael Green" just like she does in every movie.

Anyway, the interview with Harper's Bazaar continued on and then it got interesting when it was eluded to (bonus points for me using that word) that Jennifer Aniston may be interested in living in NYC again. She talked about one time walking 40 blocks in NYC without anyone noticing her. Um, that's only because I didn't live here yet. If/when Aniston moves back to NYC I will be adding her to my list of celebrities to stalk (the Olsen Sluts, Tyra Banks, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's freckles, Jessica Alba, Jesus, and now Jennifer Aniston). I wonder if Jennifer can run 40 blocks while be chased with a laptop and a camera-phone? I'll let you know how it goes. The first question I'll ask her (after I'm told that I have the right to remain silent): Are the "Friends" really friends? Followed by, do you think Ross and Rachel will end up together? 1999 was a good time.

Aniston, Oprah, Oprah, Aniston


Anonymous said...


No bonus points for using 'eluded' incorrectly, where it should have been 'alluded'.

elude = to evade
allude = to refer to something indirectly

O-to tha-M-to tha-you know the rest... said...

Although "anonymous" is correct in his/her/other assessment of allude vs. elude, I find it somewhat harsh that, single-handedly, "anonymous" has decided that you are no longer eligible for "bonus points" because of one mistake. And does "anonymous" think that you're really stupid enough to be fooled by the old "I'm-gonna-put-a-smiley-face-before-I-say-harsh-things" trick?( Well, okay. To be fair, you probably were fooled.) I mean, let's focus on the positive though, shall we...you have mastered the art of stringing words together to form sentences (all with minimal drooling). I'm actually still working on that one myself...well, not the drooling...just the sentence formation...this post is actually being translated and typed by a Troll in tennis shoes that lives behind my sofa...he's been a great "helper" the last few months and goodness knows Santa's taking note! No coal for this Troll, no Sir! Moving on...I'm actually going to give you 22 bonus points for using the phrase "bonus points" in 3 of your posts in the last day or two. Excellent. I may even get out the gold stars if you're able use it twice in the SAME post. That's tricky, though, so don't attempt it without wearing your helmet and other protective gear...oh and the the Troll can pass as "adult supervision" if you want to rent him just to be on the safe side). I'm also going to make an executive decision here and actually take away bonus points from "anonymous" because technically you should never define a word with another word of equal or greater difficulty. If somebody doesn't know what "elude" means, chances are they're not going to know what "evade" means. I, personally, would have gone the safe route and used "escape" as the definition. But it's OFTEN to know that "anonymous" has such faith in the intelligence of your readers (and you). Kudos to "anonymous" for that one...yum...kudos...I haven't had one of those in years! Oh darn...the Troll just hit his quota for sentence writing today so I guess that's all for now (you're actually probably really relieved)...Troll Labor Laws can be intense!

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