Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Operation Sellout I'm a Background Person


I'd like to provide an update on "Operation Sellout." It's going very well. I have achieved a major goal of mine: Being a Background Person. Check that right off the list. About a month ago I was walking around Bryant Park in NYC during Fashion Week and was hot on Carrie Underwood's trail. The paparazzi started to swarm and I knew that this was my chance to become "a background person." Well there I am! A background person. These photos were actually posted over at ImNotObsessed just the other day. The girl I was with that day was reading another site (sacrilegious) and she spotted me! Brilliant!

I'm hoping that US Weekly starts a new segment called, "Background People, They're Just Like Us!" I'll start. I'm a background person, I'm just like you! I stalk celebrities with my camera phone in one hand and my coffee in the other. I'm just like you, I clearly dress like a lumberjack. I'm just like you, I'm an idiot. See? That was easy. See you in the pages of Us Weekly!

Special Note to the following people: The Olsen Sluts, Dina Lohan, Tyra Banks, Jennifer Aniston. If you see that face (in the photo above) coming towards you while walking the streets of NYC, do me a favor, just let me put you in a headlock and let's call it a day. Don't make me have to chase you. Thanks, in advance, for your cooperation.

1 comment:

Concerned Alliance of Forehead Enthusiasts; cuz that makes sense... said...

Dear Monsieur I-Triple-B:
As founding (and potentially sole) member of the "Concerned Alliance of Forehead Enthusiasts" (aka CAFÉ), it has been brought to my attention that there appears to be an un-arrowed, floating forehead next to said "Lumberjack." It is incumbent upon me to inform you that "foreheads are people too." At least, that's what I read somewhere...I think. Well, actually I once saw a finger-painting and that's the message I interpreted, but essentially that's just as legit as reading it somewhere, right? Anyways...given the lack of arrowing, this "floating forehead" will clearly be in therapy for much of the foreseeable future. (Bonus points for using "fore" twice in one sentence...and quadruple word score for using 4 words that begin with the letter "F") No need to worry, though...I'll just pop the bill in the mail, addressed to "Paul Bunyan." See...now you really ARE ready for the pages of Us Weekly...You're Just Like Celebrities because you send things into therapy! Granted, Britney will be sending her children into therapy and you merely sent a semi-inanimate object/forehead...but whatever...Brit probably considers her kids to be semi-inanimate objects too...well, that is, when she actually remembers that she HAS children....but I digress....
Viva Las Forehead!!