Thursday, November 15, 2007

America's Next Top Model: What's a Muse?

Paying ANTM recapper, Jenny, 13 cents and hour is really paying off. She's back again to make us knowledgeable of the goings on of last nights America's Next Top Model. Here are her thoughts:

  • This week the girls head to FIDM. I find myself looking for Lauren Conrad...or LC as her friends call her. But I don't see her anywhere.
  • This week, the challenge is to "inspire" the FIDM students. The students will be creating individual outfits out of a dress that my mother wore to work in 1983.
  • The girls model these outfit-type creations on the runway, while commentating on themselves. Heather totally blanks out and says nothing....then spews complete nonsense. Bianca couldn't be happier to see Heather bite it.
  • Saleisha wins the challenge. The big prize is to model jewelry in Seventeen Magazine. Saleisha chooses Bianca and Lisa to join her, and I realize that this show is absolutely boring unless Tyra is in it. It was so much more enjoyable last week, when Tyra showed up in the first 15 minutes and declared Jihad. I mean, taught the girls to model.
  • Ok, this just took a left turn. Heather "calls" the shower when they get home and completely loses her shit when the other girls jump in there first. She rips off all her clothes and gets in the shower anyway. This frightens the other girls. I also think Heather just put the Malocchio on the rest of the girls. Good luck.
  • Now the girls are in the middle of the desert. Jay rolls up onto the scene like a tumbleweed and tells them they will be posing in front of a burning car. This seems a little Iraqish to me. Don't they set cars on fire? Aren't they in the desert? Maybe this makes Tyra feel like she is helping to fight the war. I'm sure she will spin it that way.
  • It's judging time, and for the one jillionth time, Tyra reminds us of the prizes and introduces the judges.
  • There is a loud gong, and I just assume this is for Tyra. However, a Chinese dragon comes out, and Tyra has a one-sided conversation with it (her side of course). She then announces they are going to CHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
  • Immediately, all hell breaks loose. Tyra busts out a large Chinese fan, the dragon dances and Samurai's show up to have a sword fight. The girls are jumping up and down and shrieking with delight. I am not sure why they are so excited, what with SARS and all? Wait, has that been eradicated? I think it has.
  • After telling the girls they are going to China, Tyra knocks them all down about 8 notches by announcing that one girl will NOT be going to China. Way to go Tyra. After this you should stop by a pre-school and tell them there's no Santa.
  • When Tyra critiques Saleisha, she tells her that she should have been going "Uhhh....Uhhhhh......Ugh....." Seriously, what?
  • Anyway, somebody ain't going to China. Ambreal and Lisa are in the bottom two. Tyra asks "Who will be the one NOT going to China, a country I have never been to and am excited to see." Way to make it about YOU Tyra. Hilarious. Ultimately, Ambreal gets the gong....See you all in Shanghai! I hope someone asks Dong for his AUTOMOBILE.

America's Next Top Model: What's a Muse?


ibbeckyb said...

Jenny- I, too, was hoping LC would be one of the "student designers", I mean MTV will plug anything, anywhere. I also thought ol' Benny Ninja was gonna jump out of that "lion" (dragon?) at the judging, because that just seems like something he'd wear.

dirtydisher said...

Heather is the daughter of Satan and what's with Mizz Js hair??

tyra mail said...

I LOVE THESE! You an IBBB have the same sense of humor. When do we get to see what you look like???

Anonymous said...

i agree - the show isnt the same without tyra talking about herself.

Anonymous said...

did anyone else notice that tyra called the dragon a lion?