Hi there Heather. How are you sweetie? Heather are you on "the drugs?" You are all over the news lately and I must confess, I have no clue what in the filthy hell you're actually talking about. I must sadly admit that I am pretty up-to-date on the random goings on with celebrities (and even you), but I didn't know half of the crap going on in your life until you ended up on about 15 different talk shows in the past 2 days. I saw you sitting on a balcony (it looked nice) on The Today Show yesterday morning and you were...uh...how should I say this....a little nuts. You were spewing out that you talk to Paul McCartney every day, but you come on national television to tell the viewers that you want Paul to see The Today Show and get your message that you want him to tell people that the divorce was his fault. Oh, I get it! No wait, I don't..at all. Huh? Wait, you get crazier. Then you tell the American public that you've been suicidal. Yeah, that makes people think you're pretty crazy. Later you go on to tell us that you get death threats and that you can't die because you are responsible for thousands of lives and animals. Again, huh? Heather you're crazy and I can't follow any of this. At least show your wooden leg the next time you're on TV. OR...write a message to Paul on your wooden leg and then put just your leg on TV. That'll do. We don't really need to see you, just your leg. Thanks, in advance for your cooperation. Pip Pip! Ta!
Hey Heather Mills, Huh??