Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Won't You Be My Neighbor. Hi Neighbor!

It's time for a new little segment I like to call, "Won't You Be My Neighbor. Hi Neighbor!" Walking to and from work every day for the past 7 months really got me to see a ton of people here in NYC. It was only a matter of time before I started seeing the same people over and over again. Now, I won't talk to these people as they all seem crazy, but I am sane enough to give these people made up nicknames in my crazy little head. I'll start with my favorite:

"Bitch I Pay Bills Every Friday, Bitch Cell Phone Man" - This guy is great. I see this guy on the corner every Friday on my way home from work and every single Friday when I see him I over hear him on his cell phone screaming, "Bitch, I pay my bills, bitch!" Really? He's having this conversation on a weekly basis? The third time I heard this guy I stopped and looked for a camera to see if they were filming something. They weren't. "Bitch I Pay My Bills Every Friday, Bitch Cell Phone Man" is my favorite.

"Louie, It Could Be You Tomorrow" Armstrong" - I'm lucky enough to see this guy each and every day. He's collecting money for the homeless and in his best Louie Armstrong voice he stands there and yells, "Help the homeless. It could be you tomorrow. You're only one day away." Thanks Debbie Downer.

"Skittles Glasses Girl" - I love Skittle Glasses Girl. I'll see her a few times a week and each time I see her she's in the same pair of sunglasses but in a different color. I give her a head nod as I pretend I sorta know her, but in my head I'm saying, "Hey Skittles Glasses Girl!"

"Run, Fast Walk, Run, Fast Walk Irene" - This lady is a trip. I only see "Run, Fast Walk, Run Fast Walk Irene" every few weeks, but when I do she is not surprisingly running then fast walks and then starts running again up the street. She usually has her coffee and purse so I know she's not exercising. At first I thought she was late, but after the 5th time I nicknamed her.

That concludes the first, and possibly last, installment of "Won't You Be My Neighbor. Hi Neighbor!"


Andy said...

This is what I do with the ladies at my gym such as Red Head No Smile, Ally McBeal, the Spinner, and Hall-of-Fame Blonde Bookend. I have only given one guy a nickname; Jason Schwartzman, as in the actor. While he only bears a passing resemblance, he really creeps me out, like Jason Schwartzman.

Taylor said...

omg. IBBB, we need pics. Seriously, just act like a spaced out tourist. Its your duty as the best blogger ever - to post pics.

Especially the bitch I pay my bills guy... PLEASE.

that's what she said...

hilarious. just like us back in the merrimack days. nicknames make every day worthwhile, don't they?