Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Britney Spears: Millionaire Tears

The ugly cry was in full effect last night when Britney and her friend/manager or her "franager" as I like to call him, Sam, got into a bit of a brawl right out side her mansion gates. Britney gets out of the car crying, while holding onto her dog (Toto?) for dear life. Luckily, there were thousands of cameras capturing her every move. While the brilliant paparazzi tried to compliment Britney while she was having her mini-breakdown by telling her they liked her hat and she had a great sense of style, I immediately was thinking, "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiegho?" Apparently the act of crying and holding a dog can certainly make you exhausted, so Britney took her shoes off and sat down for a rest. Yeeeee haw! Bare feet and walking with a dog! All she forgot to do was it into a tin cup.

Anyway, the crazy train express kept going full steam ahead for the remainder of the night. Apparently, Sam tried to comfort a trashy/crying Britney and finally left. Britney went into her house where her parents ended up showing up. Go figure! Her ex-boyfriend, Adnan, tried to get into the mansion, but was unsuccessful. Britney continued to make good decisions and got in the car of a random paparazzi dude and they, apparently, went to Ralph's Supermarket (because, you know, that makes perfect sense). Britney ended up hopping out of his car on the street and getting into the car with Adnan and they sped of reaching speeds of over 100 mph. Safe!

Britney can try to outrun the crazy, but the crazy will always catch up with you no matter how fast you go. Britney's still rich though, right? Why can't the money make her happy? Geesh! If she doesn't know how to use her money then give some of it to me. I'm more than comfortable with using all that money to fill many voids in my life. I'm completely fine with it.

Well, that's all the info I have from the Britney show. I suggest that the newspapers start proof-reading their obituaries.


Melissa said...

c'mon, now. Dont recycle the "Carmen SandiegLO" bit. Dont waste some of your best Hills material on THIS!!!

Taylor said...

I want Miss B to be committed, to a mental institution. I don't know from a legal stand point how that can happen, if she doesn't initiate it, but I think if we all sign a big petition and submit it to the courts, she'll be in. I'm serious. I don't want her to die. Its sad watching it all.