8 Women Who Won Lottery Don't Deserve It

Blagh. There's nothing worse then seeing those people who win the lottery and are standing there holding up a life-sized check, having a press conference, and then utter the words "I'm going back to work!" Really? Are you? Because that's stupid. You just won $276 million dollars. As soon as you say that you no longer deserve the money. It's official. Thanks for rubbing it in our faces, by the way. Do you know how much money I would need to win to quit my job? $10,000. No really. $10,000. Actually, make that $7,550. That'll do. And I'd quit my job like I'd won $276 million. I'd be jumping up and down, throwing my files all over the place, kick my shoe right through my computer screen, and take a crap on my dry-erase board. Sure that part would be challenging, but I'd find a way to do it.

These 8 women who won the $276 million will each get $12 million after taxes. Yeah $12 million. You wanna know where they live? West Virginia. No really, they do. No offense to West Virginia, I'm sure it's very nice, but I'm pretty sure you don't need $12 million to survive. I hear 3 easy installments of $19.99 will actually last you for more than 2 decades, but perhaps that's just an old wives tale (or "old wise tale" as I thought it was called up until about 2-weeks ago).

So anyway, you enjoy yourself going back to work knowing you don't need to be there and think of me. Think of me trying to figure a way out of this place every second of every day of every week of every month of every year. Congratulations on your winnings. Can I have some?