Thursday, April 17, 2008

Hey There Polygamy Sect Throwbacks!

Well hello there my little Texan Polygamy Sect Throwbacks! And how the hell are y'all? Can I take a second to say how infatuated I am by these chicks? First off, they all look like they're in an Alice Brady look-alike contest and I'm pretty sure they robbed Helen Keller's grave and then replicated those dresses. They kinda look like colorful hospital sheets. I bet they're wearing pants under those dresses and I bet that they stink down there. Actually, I bet they stink everywhere. Wait a minute, maybe they're in a play. Is that was this is? A play? I only saw a quick clip on the news, maybe it's an ad for a new Broadway play and they'll sing and dance and lift up those dresses and there will be those white ruffle pants underneath. Shake those maracas! Anyway, these chicks rule. For some reason, some of them even have like British accents. Did some of these woman hop on the good old boat bound for America only to get held captive in a Texas log-mansion? Tough break. I was so psyched when I heard that these women allowed cameras onto the compound because now I'm praying to my sweet Jesus that this is somehow made into a reality show. It's like The Hills, only Texas-style and with a side of incest and rape (similar to Spencer and Stephanie Pratt).

Now are there TVs at the Texas log-mansion? Magazines? Do they know that even K-Mart sells something a little more stylish then what they're wearing? Perhaps something by the Kathy Lee Gifford clothing line? Anyway, I've just wanted to say a few things about them and hope that we continue to see more and more of them. Oh, and this is the demographic that I'm pretty sure voted Bush in for a 2nd term. Take a look, rest of America!

2 comments:

that's what she said...

it's about time alice got her dues. cleaning up after those filthy brady's and forced to sleep with sam....it's about time....

Eva said...

We get that you mean Alice from the Brady bunch, but Alice wasn't actually a Brady -- she was the hired help. If the show had been set on the Yearning for Zion polygamist ranch, THEN Alice would have been a blood relative. But in the nice, normal (compared to say, polygamist sects) realm of circa. 1970 sitcoms, Alice was not a relation and "Mr. Brady" was actually gay, while "Mrs. Brady" was "dating" Greg.