Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Hills Does Rolling Stone

When all else fails, just toss the skanks from The Hills onto your cover and you've got yourself a winning idea! Lauren, Heidi, Audrina, and Whitney all posed together for the cover of Rolling Stone recently and here is the magic in a bottle. When I first saw it I thought it was f'ing dumb, but then as I looked at it a little longer and I realized just how immaculately brilliant it really was! Rolling Stone has captured the personality of each of the cast members perfectly.

First off you have Heidi who is, of course, sticking out her ass. This symbolizes Heidi always ready to take it up the pooper for her chance at fame and opportunity. She's also partially looking over her shoulder because she's never quite sure just when someones going to jump her for all she's worth (i.e Spencer). Well played.

Next you have Audrina who is posing as if she were at her annual Glamor Shots sessions because, let's face it, that's the best modeling that Audrina can do. Fake tan. Fake teeth. All admirable qualities in my book.

Now we have Lauren, or LC, as I (and only I) call her. They've perfectly captured LC looking down and laughing which clearly depicts the life of LC - always looking down upon people and laughing at them. I would imagine they had a face cutout of Lisa Loveless stapled to the ground and that's what LC is laughing it.

And finally....there's Whitney. Whitney can barely stand up on her own two feet and is being physically held down by Lauren. She's tries to keep her smile going, but smiling and standing at the same time are certainly not Whitney's strengths.

So for those who've said "Don't judge a book by its cover" you were completely wrong in this case. This cover has The Hills Whores down...to...a....science. Brilliant.

6 comments:

bekahbean84 said...

Holy retards, Batman! Could Whitney look any more like a Walrus with down syndrome? They don't even care that her face is completely invisible, which is probably appropriate since the show takes the same attitude.

Is it just me or does the Once Great Music Magazine lose serious credibility for this severe lapse in judgment by the cover editor...

Tess said...

Poor Lo...

kasey said...

I saw someone reading this on the subway and was literally craning my neck trying to tell if that was heidi sticking her ass out on the end. Thank you for clarifying that for me. And this analysis was spot on. I'm impressed.

? said...

I love how the picture seems to go with the headline that's above the mag name. "Inside a $25000 a night escort service"

Anonymous said...

Did you see Heidi on Letterman last night. Indulge us with a recap please.

Anonymous said...

IBBB! I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHITNEY! Doesn't it look more like Stephanie? I think so!