Friday, June 20, 2008

Dear Myspace Advertisers, Huh?

Dear Myspace Advertisers,
I'm puzzled so I thought I would write to you. Who are you advertising to? And, is this really your best attempt at having me click on one of your ads? Honestly, I really don't want to win. I don't want to win a prize. I don't want to punch the white guy. I don't want to be the white dog and race the black dog. I really don't want to know the date of my death. I don't want to try to make the fat guy not wet himself. I don't want to know if I'm a good flirt. Ok, fine I did try to break the cartoon bikini girl out of the glass box just to see what happened to her. I was forced to take a quiz. The point is, why are you trying to humiliate me with these ads? I don't care if my dog wins or the guy pisses himself. I don't want to win your stupid ringtones. More importantly, however, I want to know who is playing these games. No really, I want your names. I'll also need your mother's maiden name and the last four digits of your social security number. What? Just go with me on this one. Anyway, come up with some more interesting ads. Why would I ever feel the need to vote on whether or not I think "New York" from Vh1's "I Love New York" is hot or not. You even left me with an option to choose, "I don't care." I don't want to arm wrestle George Bush. I don't want to play "put a wig on cartoon Britney Spears." I don't want to guess if Joan Rivers is dead or alive (I know she's dead). Stop with the quizzes, stop with the games, and stop with the lamo ads.

Luke-Warm Regards,

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