Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We Almost Lost Paris Hilton


This Clip is in Quicktime. If You Don't Have Quicktime, Too Bad.
You really find Jesus at a time like this. Folks, we almost lost our national treasure (besides Heidi Montard) as Paris Hilton was leaving the Kate Somerville Skin Care Experts Salon in LA yesterday and almost fell down a flight of stairs. She must have had a guardian angel on her bony shoulder because she maintained her balance after she only slid down a few steps. Reminiscent of when Whitney Port (from The Hills) slid down the stairs on live television during a Good Morning America segment, Paris remained composed at all times and continued on with her pointless life.
Once Paris completed her near death experience she tried to get into her Bentley, but was unable to open the door. Opening doors is tough. Her boyfriend, Benji Madden, tried to help her, but was unable to and random black SUV picked them up. Note to self: There is an abandon Bentley in front of the Kate Somerville salon.
Thank you, my baby Jesus, for protecting Paris Hilton. I don't know what I would write about if your took her to heaven and by "took her to heaven" I actually mean "deservedly sent her to hell." I'll see her there.

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