Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Drew Barrymore Scheduled to Die Alone

She might as well just buy the plot now. Us Weekly took a 5 minute break from performing oral sex acts on Heidi Montag to report some very, very sad news. Drew Barrymore and that dude from that annoying computer commercial, Justin Long, have officially broken up, but still remain close friends. Thank God for that. How do you feel if you're next in line for the Barrymore train? I mean, she was married to Tom Green and later dated Justin Long. I'm not going to lie. I think I have a chance. I totally think she'd be into a blogger. Someone, alert her.

Ironically enough, these two poor souls are starring in the upcoming shit-show movie, "He's Just Not That Into You" or as I like to call it "Jennifer Aniston's Love Life: A Historic Timeline." Oh well. My thoughts and prayers are not with either of these two as they are both filthy rich and money should be enough.

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