Monday, October 13, 2008

Am I Wrong? Rant You!

Back by popular demand is another fresh segment of IBBB's "Am I Wrong?" Sometimes it's nice to stray away from Hollywood and really think about some stuff. Yeah, stuff. Deep.
  • Anyone else sick of that smoking commercial with that guy that has the hole in his throat and the voicebox? I don't smoke and I don't want to see and/or hear it anymore. Every time my TV is on and I'm tooling around my apartment and hear that commercial, the robot voice always scares the skid marks out of me. I always think my dishwasher has come alive and is trying to attack me. Am I wrong?

  • Whenever I walk around the streets of New York and see a homeless person on the street that doesn't look that dirty I always think it's Tyra Banks in disguise filming a segment for her show. I always look around for a camera. I still don't give money, but do think it's Tyra trying to teach me a lesson. Am I wrong?

  • What's the sales training like for employees at Dunkin Donuts? It seems like every time I go through the drive-thru they're offering more and more random crap. I order a coffee and a bagel and they're like, "Would you also like to try a cinnamon blueberry scone with spiced cream topping?" Or I just order a coffee and they're like, "Would you also like to try a new low-cal fruit smoothie?" Um, no I'm all set. I'll just stick with the one drink for now. I'd rather not urinate all over my car. Stop trying to upsell me random food products! Am I wrong?

  • Can people please stop saying that strippers don't have to strip to make a living because they can work at McDonalds? Please stop suggesting McDonalds. Good strippers can make about $1,000 a night. McDonald's workers make that in 3-months. I'm going to tell McDonalds workers that they should start stripping. Am I wrong?

  • Ugh! First Sally Field is force feeding us Boviva and now there's some bitch talking about her Fibromyalgia. She keeps a diary and keeps saying "Fibromyalgia" and "So tender to the touch." Yuck. Stop saying both of those things at once! And who has time to write in a diary about their disease? Get to bed! Am I wrong?

  • Why do people stop to ask me what time the next bus is coming when I'm walking by it? Gross. Do I look like I take the bus? It comes at 10:20. Am I wrong?


Taylor said...

First and FOREMOST IBBB, don't bitch about Dunkin Donuts, at least you have one. We don't have ONE in the whole state here. You would THINK that blueberry is a logical donut flavor for people to make anywhere. Uh, no it isn't. I've only seen them at DD. Krispy Kreme's blueberry fritter thing doesn't count.

2. You are 100% right about strippers. Working at McDonalds and stripping is not the same. I had a g/f way back 'in the day' who her put her kids thru private school and bought herself some new cars/house after getting divorced from $$ she made stripping. Tell her she should be at McDonalds.

The rest : You are not wrong. :D

Shannon said...

OMG I miss this!

I LUV your writing. You make me laugh every day, especially when everything in the news is just bad.