How are you? What's up? N/M/H. I have a quick question for every place in the world. Uh, where in the holy hell has all the French Onion Soup gone? I capitalize French Onion Soup because it's that important to me...and I also think it's its full name. I have been trying to find your basic run of the mill French Onion Soup in New York for the past 3 weeks. My work had it once, but only because it was on "special." Special? Really? Wow, French Onion Soup must be fancy. I always thought it was just water, salt, brown food coloring/rust and some rotten onion bits. It's magic. But it's nowhere to be found. Duane Reade doesn't have it. The corner shit-bag deli doesn't have it. The actual "Soup Restaurant" doesn't have it. My grocery store doesn't carry it. I even went to K-Mart to see if they have it. They don't.
You know what every place does have though? Chicken Noodle Soup. It's on the menu every day. It's the staple soup no matter where you go. Really? Every day? What adult is eating this much chicken noodle soup? Grow the hell up, everyone. Take a stand. Demand French Onion Soup. I'm tired of searching for it. Every shelf in every store has all kinds of crazy soups. I've legitimately seen "Pot Roast Soup" and "Steak and Potato Soup." Because at the end of the day you really need to dump your three course meal into boiling water and "soup" the ever loving piss out of it?
Bring back the basic French Onion Soup or offer me nothing at all.
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