Monday, November 03, 2008

Hey Stupids! Gotta Question for IBBB?

A spinoff of "Spencer's Busy...Let IBBB Take a Message," IBBB is proud to present you with another installment of "Hey Stupids! Gotta Question for IBBB?" Here's how this works. You have a question or need advice, you send me an email. I read it. I advise. Sometime, depending on my mood, I advice as well. Here are some recent questions/comments I've received. The names have been changed to protect the trashy.


Dear IBBB,
I'm thinking of changing jobs, but am afraid to make a big change today with the economy the way it is. Should I just stick it out for a while or make the jump now? Help!
Signed,
MJ



Dear MJ,
Hello there my sweet reader. Are you new to this blog, pookie? You see I write about Bindi Irwin being a big bitch, multiple forms of celebrity cameltoe, and talk about The Hills at least 3 times a week. Do you think this makes me, in any way, an expert on the business world? Of course it does. You see, like Bindi, you're probably a big big big bitch who no one in your office really likes. I'm sure you heat up fish during your lunch break and piss everyone off. You're careless like that. You're also like celebrity cameltoe. You're sorta funny to look at and your only memorable quality happens to fall between your rusty legs. Finally, you're also like every episode of The Hills. Your boss keeps you around even though each week you do and say more and more things that makes him think, "Seriously, I am so over this. She is so stupid. Why am I even letting her work here anymore." Therefore, my advice to you is either to (1) Leave your current job because you're horrific at it or (2) Try to get knocked up, go on welfare, and start one of those sex web-cam websites were you flash your boobs for $3.99/minute. Hope this helped!

You Won't Be Getting Obama's Tax Break,
IBBB



Dear IBBB,
You really make me happy every single day. Every day I read your blog at work and laugh all morning. I really want you to know that you make a difference in peoples lives. Keep up the good work.

Signed,
Annie


Dear Annie,
I know.

Get Off My Nuts,
IBBB

Dear IBBB,
Aren't you supposed to be a celebrity gossip website? Why do you waste your time writing about Harriet Carter, Getting to Know You, Am I Wrong, and half the other crap you write? Stick to what works!

Signed,
Emily

Dear Emily,
First off, your mother's a whore and your father holds the money. Second, this is an "entertainment website" meaning that it entertains me......kinda like your grandmother "entertained" the troops when they came home from World War II. Third, believe it or not I write for me. I'm selfish. This is no secret. I'm also self centered. I write things that I think are funny and make me laugh. If you happen to laugh too, great. If you don't, go have intercourse with yourself.

Let's Never Fight Like This Again,
IBBB

Dear IBBB,
Boxers or briefs?

Signed,
Alana


Dear Alana,
An empty paper-towel roll, dental floss (mint flavored), and a smile.

Call Me,
IBBB

Gotta question for IBBB? Email it. Or don't. Either way, I'm not losing sleep over this.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

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