Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Product # 2 - Is your cartoon ass getting too big? How 'bout your cartoon gut? Is your cartoon rack falling down to your cartoon belt that doesn't go all the way around your cartoon waist? If you answered "F you" to any of these questions then Harriet may have solved all of your horrific body image issues that you may have. Introducing the Body Slimmer. Don't put down the second helping of ice cream, fat ass, just jump into the Body Slimmer and kiss your problems good-bye. The actual real life model must have purchased the fancy Body Slimmer because she has hers embroidered with two snowflakes over each rack and a summer flower on her gut. What a real treat for the lucky guy who gets to bring her home after the bar and undress her and find all this mess hiding under her blouse. Unleashing the beast has never been so fun. How come they insist on using cartoon drawings for before and after photos? Now did the Body Slimmer really help the "after" cartoon drawing...or did they just simply not draw a gut, fat ass, and droopy rack on the "after?" I'm going with the second scenario. And you know what? If the "after" has a flat stomach and perky knockers, but is still dressed like Ann Romano from One Day at a Time, I'm just going to pass, but thanks nonetheless
Product # 3 - Ding dong! I wonder who's at the front door? If only there was a wireless camera that I could install for $19.99 that would allow me to see if there was a creepy man grinding his teeth and pushing his eyebrows down at the door. Oh wait, there is? Thanks Harriet! I'd like to send some helpful tips to all the future burglars out there. (1) Stop grinding your teeth at the front door and just stand there expressionless. It will increase the chances that the homeowner will at least open the door. (2) If you see a house with flowers directly in front of the front door blocking you from ever reaching the doorbell, perhaps move on. I bet it's a trap. (3) Probably not the best idea to try to rob a house during the day. Consider doing it at night, as it will be more difficult for the homeowner to see your facial expression. (4) If the mail slot is about 3 inches from the ground, the doorknob is about 1 inch wide, and the lock is about 6 feet above the said doorknob, I would move onto another house because it's likely this is just a cartoon house which, in turn, will only have cartoon stuff inside. Worthless. (5) No one lives at "3" on their street. Just saying. Thanks, Harriet, for retraining potential burglars. Ole!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
~ Celebrity Bedhead Hall of Shame ~ ABH
~ Paris Hilton Shall Burn in Hell ~ Websters
~ Listen to Britney's Album Over at CelebritySmack ~ CS
~ Angela Bower in a Trash Bag ~ Ayyyy
~ More on Heidi and Steve Sanders Wedding ~ POTP
~ Amanda Bynes is Not Hot. That's All ~ IDWYL
~ Winehouse Back on the Market! ~ FB
~ ScarJo and Lohan Not the Friends ~ ND
Jodie StepOnMe Tanner Sweetin has filed papers late last week in Orange Country, CA for legal separation from her husband of 16-months.
If Stephanie Judith Tanner Chung ends up getting an actual divorce hopefully she'll follow in the same footsteps of her chunky sister, DJ, and get divorced by walking backwards around the kitchen table. If it works for Greek weddings it should work for Jodie.
What a terrible time. Someone dig up Papouli and see if he can fix this crap. How rude!
Source It Up!
- Audrina's co-worker, Alanis Morrisette, still doesn't realize she's on national television and shows up on camera without a stitch of makeup on. She makes Kelly CUNTrone look like a beauty pageant contestant. Oddrina informs Alanis (and her puffy bangs) that she heard that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up. Alanis reacts like she just heard the news that it was all a big mistake and John McCain really won the election (political reference = 1 point). Whilst Oddrina starts to cry Alanis sorta awkwardly hugs her for about 2 nano seconds and just says, "you'll be fine." After those words of wisdom she literally says, "I can't give you any more advice than that." Wow! Thanks, Alanis, alllll better! I'm sure she could give a little more advice. Perhaps something like, "File down your teeth about 1 inch, if you have the time and money." See? Now that could have helped too.
- Oh crap! Lauren better change the sheets because LOser is going to orgasm all over them when LC tells her how crazy Audrina is.
- Know how I know this crap is sorta real? Lauren looks like crap, that's how. Whilst she's freaking the F out on LOser, she looks a mess. She looks like she just chased the talent monster all around her backyard and lost. Oh, and her mustache is back too! I'm also thankful for that this Thanksgiving.
- As Lauren continues on her rant she practices things like "sarcasm" and says that she did hook up with J Bob because of how charming he is and how wonderful is personal hygiene is. Oh Lauren, those classes at FIDM-OPP-PYT are really starting to pay off! Not for nothing, but before she bashes Justin Bobby's impeccable character I have 4 words for Lauren: Jason Wahler.
- HOlly Ethel Mertz Montag stops by Casa de Chin to chat it up with Heidi, but to no surprise she's not there. Know who is there? Yup, Steve Sanders. He's making toast. This scene makes me want to pistol whip my TIVO. Seriously who fights like this? Who fights monotone? I would be swearing, talking smack about his mother, and I'd probably throw a bucket of water on him while he unplugged the toaster.....but that's just me. Perhaps everyone else has different fighting tactics.
- Oddrina heads over to Lauren's house and when Oddy knocks Lauren just yells "The doors open." Note to stalking self: Don't break into Lauren's home, just knock.
- Oddrina and Lauren just stand in her kitchen in awkward silence and filthy smirks. I'm pretty sure Lauren is reading the manual to her microwave.
- Audrina asks Lauren if she hooked up with Justin Bobby. Lauren looks off to where the producers stand, probably to make sure they're ok with Audrina's potty mouth. I like the swearing....makes it more real. I am hoping that one day we even will get a "I'm sorry can you stop filming this right now" as one of them runs out of the apartment/off the set.
- Oh Jesus. It's those tools again from The Aftershow. What the hell is that dude, Dan, wearing for a shirt? Where's his other collar and why are all the buttons to the right? Remember that episode of The Cosby Show when Denise made Theo that knock-off designer shirt and it was all jacked up? Yeah, well that's what Dan's shirt looks like. I miss that show. I miss scripted television. I miss those jazz episodes where the whole Cosby clan would perform lip-synced songs for the grandparents on their stairs. Better days, better days.
- Seriously, someone hand Audrina a green umbrella because I think she's going "Britney crazy." She's calling Justin Bobby for the 15th time and looks like she left him some crazy messages in the past. She. Is. Nuts.
- HOlly Ethel Mertz Montag goes by to visit Heidi at "work." It's nice to see Heidi back in an empty cube and it's even nicer that HEMM called her out for not having an office. As a sidenote, what in the Christmas Christ is Heidi wearing to work? And why is HEMM dressed like a part time business woman/part time stay at home mom from the late 80's?
- We are lucky enough to know just exactly what Audrina's crazy-train messages were to J Bob because J Bob let's us all know while he drinks wine at the random bar that he and Oddrina are at. Apparently it was something along the lines of: "You f'n a-hole...I f'n hate you.....you f'n used me!" Sweet. I heart Audrina's f-words fighting style!
- J Bob peaces out of "drinks" with Oddy because he's nuts, but realizes that Oddrina is even crazier than him.
- No joke, this rumor this is f'n stupid. If they were going to do something this stupid, they should have gone all the way with it. Audrina should have called her father and been like, "Hey Dad, yeah, I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...underneath the mistletoe last night."
- Wow! Heidi must need a time machine to make it home from work because not only is she wearing a completely different outfit, but even her hair is crimped. Isn't this supposed to "later that day" after HOlly Ethel Mertz Montag confronted Heidi at work? And, seriously, why am I even bother recapping any scenes with Heidi and Steve Sanders anymore? They can faux-fight all they want and make it seem like Heidi is going to eventually dump him, but now that they're married this is all even dumber. More dumb? Dumbest? Dumberest? Most dumb? Wicked stupid.
- Finally, Audrina and Lauren try to figure this whole rumor thing out, with LOser, at a crowed and noisy bar. There's some random chick in the background just looking at them. If that was me I would have been like, "Are you guys ad-libbing these scenes?"
- Oddrina also accuses Lauren of flirting with Justin Bobby in the past to which Lauren replies that she'd rather kill herself than hook up with him. 2 points for Lauren, but I'm taking one point away because the candle-light is making her under eye wrinkles, forehead wrinkles, and mustache really scare me.
- 2 points go to Audrina for telling Lauren that she's doing the same thing to her that she did to Heidi. Although, I hate to be a stickler, but I'm taking a point away for the side profile of Audrina's teeth. I'm sorry you guys but she needs to learn a valuable teeth lesson and I'm here to teach her that lesson.
- 3 points goes to LOser, just because. No points taken away. Sue me.
- 1 additional point to Lauren for crying this time with out all the makeup running down her face.
- And the winner is.......the terrorists! They win because I watch this show.
On the next crapisode of The Hills, the rumor fight continues.....yawn....BUT Nana Pratt is in town and I have one week to come up with a crapload of new jokes about this!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Source It Up!
Friday, November 21, 2008
~ George Clooney Attempting to Play a Dance Form of Basketball ~ ABH
~ Is That a 3rd Olsen? Shecky Olsen, Perhaps? ~ Websters
~ A Britney Commercial ~ CS
~ Brandy Lost Pieces of Her Pants ~ Ayyyy
~ How Much Does Madonna Get to Keep? ~ POTP
~ What's Wrong With Tisdale? ~ IDWYL
~ Paris is Back on the Market. Hide Your PeePee ~ FB
~ Ronson Will Kill You ~ DSF
I have nothing else to say.
Now I'm not technically sure if Teri Hatcher is mimicking The Grinch or if The Grinch is mimicking Teri Hatcher. Either way, they look like twins (1-step up from Olsen Twins). Why does Father Time seem to be punking Teri? She doesn't look bad now, but I can't help but to think of her in the days of "Lois and Clark." It's a sad time really. We're all getting old. However, Teri is getting older....older than us for sure.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Well folks another season of America's Next Top Model come to a close. Bid adios to Jenny recapping the crap out of this show. I'll have to hire her for another series recap. In the meantime, here's what she said went down last night on the season finale of America's Next Top Model:
- It's the season finale! Freedom......freedom.....cuz I don't belong to you....and you don't belong to me.....TYRA!
- Well, it's the moment we've all been waiting for. Who will be crowned America's Next Top Model? I think it would be a real sweet treat if Tyra just said the hell with it, and crowned herself America's Next Top Model.
- Here's some trivia. I was watching Jepoardy! tonight....and Jay Manual was one of the clues. Evidently, he was an aspiring opera singer before he fell into Tyra's clutches on ANTM. Talk about having your life take a left turn.
- Side note, it is FREEZING! Christ on a horse! I can't get warm.
- Looks like the ladies will be shooting a Covergirl commercial. How original and new. It's half Dutch/half English. Dinglish?
- One girl is going to get the peace out, while the remaining two stomp their way down the runway like horses with their hooves on fire...
- Tyra takes this opportunity to teach us how to smile with our mouths closed and be sexy....and smile with our mouth closed and NOT be sexy. That Tyra really gets it. But what is she wearing? She looks like those Asian guys that host Most Extreme Elimination Challenge....the one that they dub into English
Analeigh is eliminated from the show. Honestly, how did Sam get into the finals? I call shenanigans.
- The "runway" is set up like an obstacle course. They literally have to run up the hill in order to avoid rolling backward like hedgehogs. Again, noticing the Most Extreme Challenge theme...
- Tyra and the judges take us on a cycle 11 stroll down memory lane....Through the years.......
- Well don't keep us in suspense any longer! Who is going to win the cover of Seventeen Magazine, a life long pen-pal relationship with Miss Jay, a photo in the mail each month of Tyra and 20 years worth of Rice-a-roni? MCKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the best part is, she keeps picking Tyra up and swinging her around like a rag doll...
- This concludes another cycle (not menstrual) of America's Next Top Model. I'll be in negotiations with Mr. IBBB about a hay-penny raise. If it goes through HR and is approved by corporate, I'll see ya next go 'round! Take care and Happy Holidays. I'll be stuffing all your stockings with the ANTM DVD. Or not.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
~ Why Does the Mad Hatter Want to Kill Me and Eat Me? ~ ABH
~ Dallas Austin Claims He Isn't Working With Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta
~ Is Kelly Osbourne Courtney Love's Daughter? ~ Websters
~ Me Gusta Charlize Theron, Even in a Bush ~ CS
~ Did Aguilera Toss Her Rack? ~ DSF
~ Meg Ryan's Rack Fell Down ~ Ayyyy
~ Britney is On the Record ~ POTP
~ Mmmmm Winehouse Teeth! ~ PB
~ Scarlett Discusses Lindsay No Pants ~ Y!
~ Locklear Prison Bound? ~ FB
- We learned that Kim continues her rein of terror on the suit jacket.
- We learned that Kim thinks that NeNe is a drag queen. This is coming from the woman who is wearing a Bratz doll wig and a mans suit jacket.
- We learned that Kim actually asked Sheree and Lisa if NeNe was black.
- We learned that DeShawn plays basketball with her husband in a yellow club shirt, jeans, and big earrings. Also, with her husband retiring "due to injury" from the NBA she fears not being in the limelight anymore. Perhaps she hasn't noticed that she's on a show called "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and as she's saying these words there are cameras filming her, a boom-mic operator, lights, and producers surrounding her. Maybe that's not "limelight" enough for Shawny.
- We learned that when Dallas Austin calls Kim and tells her that she needs to start Country Singer Bootcamp, Kim's nanny, Mia, must think someone is calling to kill Kim because she looks concerned for her life.
- We learned that Kim is visibly nervous about quitting smoking and drinking and having to run everyday, but then immediately tells Dallas Austin that her kids aren't going to stop her from her dream. She's sweet like that. Maybe give the kids the cigarettes and White Zinfandel. You know, keep it in the family.
- We learned that NeNe is writing a letter to her "father" Curtis because apparently people still mail actual letters to people. Can't she just email Curtis? I bet his email address is CurtisIsNotTheFatherOfNeNE_2008@aol.com.
- We learned that Lisa doesn't want to her husband to be in a wheel chair because she wants to grow old with him and not have to push him around in a wheelchair. Yes, that conversation is actually taking place.
- We learned that the dude from Project Runway calls out Sheree for not picking out her own fabrics and basically being hands-on with her horrific clothing line called "She By Sheree." It should be called "She of Sheree." That way we could call it "SOS" for short.
- We learned that Kim is officially quitting smoking and, in turn, her daughters will stop sleeping in her bed with her. Scary. Her oldest daughter is 11. So Kim sleeps with her two daughters and her wig? Isn't that a fire hazard?
- We learn that Kim thinks that her voice is "a God given talent." I begin to question God.
- We learn that Sheree can have all the money and "class" in the world, but she still pronounces "ask" as "axe."
- We learn that NeNe continues to bring the laughs by telling Lisa and Sheree that she doesn't want to have to take a picture with those bitches whilst at Lisa's husband's "Surprise You're Being Shipped to Oakland" party.
- We learn that if you're graduating from high school and your mom, NeNe, is taking you to the car dealership your best bet is to show up to the car dealership still wearing your graduation cap and gown because, you know, that makes sense.
- We learn that Sheree has actual children, which chills me to the bone. These kids are smart and get all "A's" or "SherrA's" on their report card and receive money and a trip for doing so.
- We learn that the end of the episode dinner that Lisa has for everyone is completely awkward to watch. At one point I'm pretty sure I hear crickets. I assume the crickets are coming from Kim's wig and I just move on from the moment.
- We learn that NeNe tries to talk to Kim and Sheree about what happened and they just stare at her.
- We learn that Kim doesn't want her kids hearing NeNe yell at her, but somehow she seems to be ok with her kids listening to her sing. Isn't that worse?
- We learn that Greg, NeNe's husband, is the voice of reason and is far classier than any of the people at the table.
- We learn that, at the end of the day, Kim realizes that she should have talked to NeNe about what bothered her a month ago. They kind of "squash" the fight, but from the looks of the Reunion Show next week everyone hates each other even more.
Wanna see what Kim looked like in 2003? Click Here to Check out Vintage Kim
Wanns see preview clips from the Renunion show? Check Out Previews from the Reunion Show
Product # 2 - Hey there shitty fingers! Are you looking to dip you fingers into your chocolate milk maker? Are you gross? Do you look forward to spreading germs all over your bathroom? Well if you've answered "huh?" to any of these questions do I have the product for you! Why it's Toilet Paper Foam, but of course! The "TPF" is used to add a foaming cleanser to your toilet paper so that your bum can basically get spit-shined after you take a dainty poop or projectile explosive diarrhea all over your bathroom wall. Simply pump a few squirts onto your toilet paper and VOILA! Sparkle bum! Luckily toilet paper usually does well when it gets wet so I'm certain that your fingers won't poke a hole through the paper and you'll accidentally give yourself your very own colonoscopy. Move over, Katie Couric, because now you can do this in your very own home! While the brand name is "Aaah" I'm sure you'll be screaming "YOWZA" when three fingers enter the bum. Enjoy trying to wipe the feces off your hand without touching the sink faucets or door know. Cleanliness all around! Thanks, Harriet, for making shitting on my hand fun!
Product # 3 - Hey there Vanity Smurf! Are you looking to bring a life-sized mirror with you wherever you go? Of course you are. Well now you can simply tuck and roll this mirror under your arm (like Mr. Brady's plans) and bring this mirror with you wherever you go! I'll be bringing my on the train with me in the morning, at Dunkin Donuts, into my afternoon meeting, and possibly even church. I'll want to know if the diddler priests are trying to sneak up on me at all times. And is this chick serious with her reflection? The real chick is looking down and the one in the mirror is kinda looking out of the corner of her eyes. Looks like they mixed up the cartoon drawing of her. Too bad they couldn't use an actual image of an actual person with the actual product. Crazy thought, I know. Hopefully she'll be sticking this mirror onto the floor so she can take a look at her naughty bits. It's totally multi-purpose. Thanks, Harriet, for breaking mirrors everywhere you go!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Preview. Kim and NeNe Fight It Out Like They're on the Set of Maury. Sidenote: Curtis, You are Not the Father.
- Once again we begin with Whitney and Lauren "working"at Pubic Revolution. Whitney informs us that she still has been talkinK with Ozzy Bobby (Jay, the musician). Lauren allows Whitney to say one full complete sentence before she jumps in and alerts Whitney that Holly is "crashing" at LC's place. Whitney says probably the most profound thinK she has ever said to this day about Holly: "She's like Heidi without the Spencer." Someone toss that on a t-shirt and lets call it a day.
- Oh Jesus. Audrina and Justin Bobby are walking up the street in Venice Beach. I'm not even sure if it's J Bob. The producers probably just grabbed some homeless dude off the street and was like, "Here, wear this hat and talk to the girl with the big rack and ultra-white teeth. Don't worry if it looks like she's looking at the sky the whole time....she's...uh...praying." Roll 'em!
- Ugh, these two again. There are more scenes this season of Heidi hanging up clothes in her bedroom while Steve Sanders stands there and they faux-fight. Seriously? There's nothing better they can come up with then this? Heidi is very concerned about the whereabouts of Holly because "she doesn't even know where she is." Really? Pick up an Us Weekly. That's a good start. If you can't find her there, check out Perez Hilton. He may know. If he doesn't, maybe check out the green-room down the hall from the set of your apartment and see if she's in there practicing her lines for the current episode. If not, check the stomach of your horse from Crested Butte because, well, if my plan worked she may be in there. It's a long story.
- Later, Lauren and Audrina go out to have drinks and they talk about how awesome they are. As if the dialogue can't bet worse, they reinforce it with sub-titles. Thanks "Hills!" Yawn. I'm over this scene. Unless Audrina's rack falls out of her shirt and onto the bar I'm moving on. Oh wait did it just fall out? Ugh. No. Close though.
- I love when Teef and Tats Patridge have scenes together. Tats Pat has the longest teeth I've ever seen. They're so long I think it effects her voice. No joke. She kinda has 60 year old butch lesbian voice. Anyone with me on that? Anyone? Crickets. Crickets. Crickets. Anyway, they talk about J Bob and him leaving his toothbrush at Audrina's new house of horror. He only leaves it there because he doesn't use it/need it. I assume he'd leave soap there too.
- Heidi heads to Crackhouse to meet with Sam to try and get a job. She introduces herself to the receptionist, as if the receptionist has no clue what's going on. I will guess that the camera crew filming her may have given her the heads up that Heidi from "The Hills" will be stopping by in about 3 seconds and that's why there's an actual camera crew in front of her right now. Oh, and someone needs to teach Heidi how "not" to look at the camera. I've caught her about 4 times this crapisode already.
- So does Sam work in an elevator? Because the door to his office opens like one. And uh, why is his computer monitor facing me? How does he use it if it's turned around? I hate this. I hate me.
- Sam hires Heidi on a trial basis and doesn't want to see Steve Sanders ever at an event. Is this shit for real? He's supposed to be this high-powered businessman and he's talking to his non-college-educated-douche-bag-low-level-worker about her boyfriend. If there is stock for SBE, sell it now. That place should be tanking soon.
- Sandy Sanders and Lauren are at "school" for about 3 seconds. They're sitting on white leather lounge chairs. Are the filming this in outerspace? Sandy Sanders hair looks like the Cowardly Lion's. That is all.
- Holly is back at Casa de Misery with Lauren and LOser. For the 15th time this episode the cast is drinking. Again, watching this show any other way than drunk is just plain old stupid. Holly is supposed to be 25, but I think someone forgot to "carry the 1" when doing the math. She looks closer to 35. Maybe it's the mom haircut she has. One may never know.
- Meanwhile back at Casa de Chin, Sandy Sanders shows up to film her scenes with Heidi and Steve Sanders. Sandy Sanders spills the scripted beans that scripted Holly is scriptedly living with scripted LC and LOser at scripted Casa de Misery. Steve Sanders and Heidi are scriptedly shocked when they hear this. Heidi checks the script and asks Sandy Sanders why Holly would move in with LC and Sandy informs everyone that Holly was "homeless" and who would say no to a homeless person. Um, I say no to homeless people every single day. It's easy.
- Steve Sanders and Heidi continue to faux-fight. He calls Darlene Montag a stalker mom. When Heidi tries to defend her family she looks like she's trying to take a crap. Heidi then calls Steve Sanders an ass and that he may be the problem. She's half right. But I'm the ass for watching this show and this show is actually the problem. There's a difference.
- Finally (thank Jesus Claus) Justin Bobby and Audrina are at dinner wearing all leather, sitting on leather chairs, in what I can only assume is a dungeon. J Bob is sporting a black hood with a black hat. Imagine sitting next to that crap? This is just another reason why I carry a baseball bat with me wherever I go.
- J Bob gives Audrina a white shirt and instructs her to wear it without a bra. I'm pretty sure he calls her "dude" after that. Good job, J Bob, someone will be getting a little Oddrina head tonight thanks to that shirt! Carrrreful for her teeth though....sometimes she hurts when she does it. So I've heard.
I stand corrected from the past. THIS was the worst episode ever. Although next week looks good! It's the episode where Audrina claims that Lauren banged Justin Bobby. There are a lot of tears, f bombs, and LC tells Audrina that she's worse than f'n Heidi. Didn't this crap just happen like 2 weeks ago in real life? Are they filming this in real-time now? Oh, they should totally have some live episodes. That would be great!
So what did you guys think of this episode? Yawnsville?
Monday, November 17, 2008
~ The New SNL Chick Has a "Famous" Father. Guess Who ~ ABH
~ Ba da ba ba ba, Heigl's Lovin' It ~ Websters
~ Vh1 Celebrity Rehab Interview! ~ CS
~ Is This the New LiLo and Sam? ~ POTP
~ More Victoria's Secret Fun! ~ Ayyyy
~ More Kristin Cavallari ~ IDWYL
~ Russell Simmons is a Boob Looker ~ DSF
~ Lisa LeftEye Lopes is Back ~ PB
~ Hilary Duff to Ruin Television ~ FB
Looks like StepOnMe Tanner is no longer the awkward duckling, as today she as transformed into an awkward swan. Magic. Jodie Sweetin, apparently sporting red car paint on her lips, was looking slim and trim on the red carpet of the 15th Annual Lint Roller Party (Best Friends Animal Society) in Hollywood, California. Surprising not her arm was Mr. Bear. I've put out an ABP on Mr. Bear and hope he returns safe and sound.
Source It Up!
Seriously these outfits have to have a mad case of "ring around the collar" by now. Oh, and "swamp ass crust" in their khaki-cameltoe-pants. The Irwin's, sans Steve, are at it again! This time they're at the 2nd Annual Steve Irwin Day at the Australia Zoo on the Sunshine Coast. What a treat.
Source It Up!
I'm owning it. In fact, they should replace Audrina with Kristin. In fact, they should replace half the cast with Kristin. In fact, let's just bring back the old Laguna Beach and call it a day.
Friday, November 14, 2008
~ The Arrested Development Movie, You Say? ~ ABH
~ Adios Neverland Rach of Horror ~ Websters
~ Lohan Goes British ~ CS
~ A Victoria's Secret Christmas ~ DSF
~ Who's Wearing Curtanis? ~ Ayyyy
~ Sorry Guys, Pumpkin is Off the Market ~ POTP
~ Will Miley Cyrus Ever End? ~ FB
~ Complete CMA Recap ~ Yeeeah
According to Lisa, "I've been extremely diplomatic and there are horrible things I could have said but I have chosen not to and still do. When you come after my integrity or my family, then you're going to see a different person."
In regards to the reunion show Lisa said, "People will be surprised because I was surprised and somewhat embarrassed myself, but I'm human and you have to let people know that they can't just say whatever they want to you."
Holy crap! Bring on the reunion show!
Meanwhile, back at Kim's house, Kim allowed TMZ to listen to voicemail that Lisa allegedly left for Kim that says that Kim better call her back before she sees her because she's not Sheree, she's not NeNe, she's not "the one." Then she ended the message by saying, "You need to call me. I might just be coming to your house!"
Kim was also present with her "lawyer" who looks as classy and professional as Kim. The only thing that was missing from the TMZ scene was Kim's White Zinfandel and pack of Newports. Come on, Kim, get it together. Don't disappoint me! Anycrap, the "lawyer" talked about Kim fearing for the safety of herself and her kids.....and her wig?
Kim also was sure to mention that she and Sheree were filming a movie with Demi Moore. While most don't believe it, I do. And I also found this picture of Kim, Demi, and Sheree. You're welcome.
What do you guys think about all this drama? Would the Houswives of the OC or New York bring it to this level? Sadly, no. This is more fun.
Listen to Lisa's voicemail to Kim Here.
Read the rest of what Lisa had to say Here
Past Real Housewives Recaps