Thursday, January 15, 2009

Daniel, What Happened to Your Eye? AND DON'T TELL ME IT WAS ANOTHER BIKE ACCIDENT!



Sometimes at times like these it's hard to believe in God. "These times" that I am talking about, of course, are the ones surrounding a possible remake of The Karate Kid. Let me repeat that. A remake of The Karate Kid. Oh, and it gets worse. Guess who may be playing Daniel? Will Smith's son, Jaden Smith. Oh, and it gets worse. Guess who's being tapped to play Mr. Miagi? Jackie Chan. Let me repeat that. Jackie Chan. Guess who's probably going to toss themselves out their 30th floor window? IBBB. That's who.


Next to The Hills, Bindi Irwin (that little bitch), Jodie Sweetin, and Olivia Palermo my favorite thing in life has always been The Karate Kid Part I. I know almost all the words. When my parents bought their first VCR when they first came out, it was the first movie off of HBO (when HBO was free) that my sister and I taped. We watched that tape over and over again. Fast forward 250 yrs and I am still quoting this movie. Most of my friends hate me because out of nowhere I'll be like, "Oh my God what happened to your eye" and as they look all nervous because they think there is something wrong with their eye, I yell out, "And don't tell me it was another bike accident!" Bonus points if you remember that scene.


Anyalliwithani, if they remake this movie and ruin it for me I will be devastated. Just leave it alone. Hasn't Jaden Smith ruined enough things in my life already?


If they do remake this, I request that either Mrs. Teasley plays Daniel's mother....or Jill Zarin from Real Housewives of New York. Ugh.


Put him in a body bag, Johnny, yeaaah!

He's a creampuff Johnny!

Sweep the leg!


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6 comments:

Amy said...

Dying. IBBB, you are fu-nnnnny.

Diane said...

IBBB, thank you for continuing to bring joy to this twisted old heart. I wonder who will play Ali with an "i."

Eye, always look eye!

that's what she said...

Lucille Larusso: Daniel! What's the matter? Why did you throw your bike away?

Daniel: Because I felt like it.

Tess said...

blasphemy! jackie chan may be some kind of hero in "china" but here in america anything he does is an instant joke and they CAN'T MAKE KARATE KID a joke. the end.

Alli said...

Of course they are going to remake this, they will not be happy until they have fucked all our childhood memories up the ass!

Janine said...

Dear readers,
I'am a very close friend to Mr. IBBB and I can tell you all from past experiences that he talks about this movie ALL the time!! A few years back, a bunch of us went to the Dominican Republic and Mr IBBB qouted this movie the WHOLE ENTIRE TRIP!!! I waited to kill myself!!! I hope they don't do this remake cuz I'll just be listening to more stupid qoutes!!! UGH!!!